"'Twas The Night Before Chanukah..." joke

'Twas the night before Chanukah, boychiks and maidels,
Not a sound could be heard, not even the dreidels.
The menorah was set on the chimney, just right,
In the kitchen my Bubbe hut gechapt a bite.
Salami, pastrami, a glessala tay
and zayerah pickles with bagels, oy vay!
Gezunt and geschmacht, the kindelech felt,
while dreaming of tegelach and Chanukah gelt.

The clock on the mantle it sure was a tickin',
and Bubbe was serving a schtickala chicken.
A tumult arose like a thousand bruchas,
Santa had fallen and broken his tuchas.
I put on my slippers, eins, tsvay, drei,
while Bubba was now on the herring and rye.
I grabbed my robe and buttoned my gotkes,
While Bubbe was so busy, devouring those latkes.

To the window I ran and to my surprise,
A little red yarmulke greeted my eyes.
When he got to the door and saw our menorah,
"Yiddishe kinder," he said, "Keneinahora.
I thought I was in a goyisha house,
but as long as I am here, I'll leave a few toys."

With much geshray, I asked, "Du bist a yid?"
"Avada, mein numen is Schloimey Claus, kid."
"Come into the kitchen, I'll get you a dish,
A guppell, a schtickla fish."
With smacks of delight, he started his fressen,
Chopped liver, knaidlech and kreplach gegessen.
Along with his meal, he had a bissle schnapps,
For when it came to eating, this boy was the tops!

He asked for some knishes with pepper and salt,
but they were so hot, he yelled, "Oy gevalt!"
Unbottoning his haizen, he rose from the tisch,
and said, "Your kosher essen is simply delish."
As he went to the door, he said "See you later.
I'll be back next Pesach, in time for the seder."

More rapid than eagles his prancers they came,
as he whistled and shouted and called them by name:
"Now Izzy, now Morris, now Yitzchak, now Sammy,
now Irving and Maxie and Moishe and Manny."
He gave a geshray as he drove out of sight,
"A gutten yomtov to all, and to all a good night!"

"Dictionary" {Thank you, Rabbi S. A.!}

boychiks and maidels - boys & girls
dreidels - gambling toy, with letters of Hebrew alphabet on 4 sides.
menorah - candelabra used to light candles. Sometimes called
Bubbe - grandmother
a Chanukiah for the candelabra exclusive to Chanukah.
gechapt -took
glessala tay-glass of tea
Gezunt - well (a good feeling)
geschmacht- secure, comfortable
Chanukah gelt - money, usually given to children as gifts.
kinderlech -children
tegelach -a tasty confection made from flour, honey, sugar-you get
the idea
schtickala - a little
tumult -confusion
bruchas - blessings
gotkes-underwear
yarmulke - little skull cap worn by religious, especially Orthodox
Jews.
Pope wears the thing.
Keneinahora-actually 3 words: ken, ayin & harah. This phrase
means there should be no negative insinuation (literally-no evil eye)
goyisha house - non-Jewish house
"mein numen is Schloimey Claus" - "my name is. .. "
knaidlech-matza balls
kreplach-dough stuffed with meat. wantons. but we were around
before the Chinese. They got it from us. We boil them. They fry them.
fressen - eat, devour
gegessen-was (were) eaten
gevalt - holy sh*t (you may substitute something more appropriate,
but this is what it means. See the movie "The Frisco Kid" when Gene
Wilder and Harrison Ford jump off the cliff into the water)
geshray -cried out
yomtov - holiday