Ghost Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: Where do ghosts take their dirty coats?
A: To a dry-screamers.
Q: What did the phantom on guard duty outside the haunted castle say when he heard a noise?
A:' Halt! Who ghosts there?'
Q: Why was the shy ghost frightened of going to the opticians' party?
A: Because he thought he might make a spooktacle of himself.
It was a graveyard romance. Boy meets ghoul.
Q: What music do ghosts like?
A: Haunting melodies.
Q: How did the two ghosts fall in love?
A: It was love at first fright.
Q: On what day do ghosts play tricks on each other?
A: April Ghoul's Day.
Q: Where can you catch a ghost train?
A: At a mainfestation.
Q: Why did the female ghoul like demons?
A: Because demons are a ghoul's best friend.
Q: What do you call a female ghost who serves drinks and food on a' plane?
A: An air ghostess.
Some years ago I tried to become a ghost writer. But I couldn't find any ghosts who wanted me to more...

A vampire joke
Why did the vampire have fang decay?
He was always eating fangcy cakes!

A ghost joke
Where do Australian ghosts go on holiday?
Lake Eerie!

A vampire joke
Why did the vampire take up acting?
It was in his blood!

A ghost joke
What is a ghost’s favourite desert?
Knickerbocker ghouly!

A vampire joke
What is a vampire’s favourite fruit?
A neck-tarine!

A cannibal joke
Why won’t cannibals eat Frank Sinatra?
Because he’s always coming back!

A vampire joke
What is the American national day for vampires?
Fangsgiving day!

How did the bootician style the ghosts hair? With a scare dryer!

A skeleton joke
What do you call a skeleton snake?
A rattler!

A vampire joke
What happened to the vampire who swallowed sheep?
He felt baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad!

A ghost joke
Who is the most important member of the ghost’s football team?
The ghoulie!

A skeleton joke
What happened to the boat that sank in the sea full of piranha fish?
It came back with a skeleton crew!

A ghost joke
How do ghosts like their eggs cooked?
Terrifried!

A vampire joke
Why do vampires do well at school?
Because everytime they are asked a question they come up with a biting reply!

A skeleton joke
What do you call a skeleton who acts in Westerns?
Skint Eastwood!

A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are on their way to a meeting. On their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp. They rub the lamp and a ghost appears.
The ghost says: Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you are three, I will allow one wish each”
So the eager senior manager shouted, I want the first wish. I want to be in the Bahamas, on a fast boat and have no worries. “Pfufffff and he was gone.
Now the junior manager could not keep quiet and shouted “I want to be in Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails. ”Pfufffff and he was also gone.
The boss calmly said, “I want these two idiots back right now. ” Pfuffff ……….: p
Lesson: - ALWAYS ALLOW THE BOSSES TO SPEAK FIRST

Q. Why don't witches like to ride their brooms when they're angry? A. They're afraid of flying off the handle! Q. Where do baby ghosts go during the day? A. Dayscare centers. Q. Who did Frankenstein take to the prom? A. His ghoul friend. Q. What do ghosts serve for dessert? A. I Scream. Q. What do witches put on their hair? A. Scare spray. Q. What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost? A. Bamboo. Q. What kind of mistakes do spooks make? A. Boo boos. Q. Why couldn't Dracula's wife get to sleep? A. Because of his coffin. Q. Why do mummies make excellent spies? A. They're good at keeping things under wraps. Q. Why wasn't there any food left after the monster party? A. Because everyone was a goblin! Q. How did the ghost patch his sheet? A. With a pumpkin patch. Q. What is as sharp as a vampires fang? A. His other fang.

A ghost joke
How did the ghost song and dance act make a living?
By appearing in television spooktaculars!

A ghost joke
What is a drunkards last drink?
His bier!

A cannibal joke
What did a cannibal’s parents say when she brought her boyfriend home?
”Lovely, dear, he looks good enough to eat!

A cannibal joke
What happened to the cannibal lion?
He had to swallow his pride!

A ghost joke
What did the baby ghost eat for dinner?
A boo-loney sandwich!

A cannibal joke
What is a cannibal’s favourite food?
Baked beings!

A cannibal joke
What do sick cannibals have for breakfast?
Vitamin bills!