Ghost Jokes / Recent Jokes
A ghost joke
How do undertakers speak?
Gravely!
A vampire joke
What do vampires think of blood transfusions?
Newfangled rubbish!
A ghost joke
What did the polite ghost say to her son?
Don’t spook until your spooken to!
A ghost joke
What do ghosts eat for dinner?
Ghoulash!
A cannibal joke
What happened if you upset a cannibal?
You get into hot water!
A cannibal joke
Why don’t cannibals like to eat Carl Lewis?
He gives them runs!
A ghost joke
What do ghouls do when they’re in hospital?
They talk about their apparitions!
A vampire joke
Why did the vampire go to hospital?
He wanted his ghoulstones removed!
A ghost joke
Where do ghosts live?
In a terrortory!
A ghost joke
What is a ghost proof cycle?
One with no spooks in it!
A ghost joke
What do you call a ghost who stays out all night?
A fresh air freak!
A skeleton joke
What happened to the skeleton who was swallowed by a big fish?
He had a whale of a time!
A ghost joke
What do young ghouls write their homework in?
Exorcise books!
A ghost joke
What happened when the ghosts went on strike?
A skeleton staff took over!
Two men were walking home after a party and decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery just for laughs.
Right in the middle of the cemetery they were startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the misty shadows. Trembling with fear, they found an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones.
"Holy cow, Mister," one of them said after catching his breath, "You scared us half to death, we thought you were a ghost! What are you doing working here so late at night?"
"Those fools!" the old man grumbled. "They misspelled my name!"
What did one ghost say to another? A. "Do you believe in people?"
At a conference on the supernatural, one of the speakers asked, "Who here has ever seen a ghost?" Most of the hands go up. "And how many of you have had some form of interaction with a ghost?" About half the hands stay up."OK, now how many of you have had physical contact with a ghost?" Three hands stay up; there's a slight murmur in the crowd. "Gosh, that's pretty good. OK, have any of you ever, uh, been intimate with a ghost?" One hand stays up. The speaker blinks. "Gosh, sir, are you telling us that you've actually had sexual contact with a ghost?" The guy with his hand up suddenly blushes and says, "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you said "goat'."
What did the stupid ghost do? He used to climb over walls.
A skeleton joke
How do skeletons get their mail?
By bony express!
A vampire joke
What kind of medicine does Dracula take for a cold?
Coffin medicine!
A vampire joke
Why did the vampire sit on a pumpkin?
It wanted to play squash!
A vampire joke
How do vampires keep their breath smelling nice?
They use extractor fangs!
A vampire joke
What do vampire footballers have at half times?
Blood oranges!
A ghost joke
Where do ghosts get an education?
High sghoul!
A ghost joke
Why did the mummy leave his tomb after 3000 years?
Because he thought he was old enough to leave home!