Girls Jokes / Recent Jokes

"Equal" is not always synonymous with "the same." Men and women are created equal; but boys and girls are not born the same.
1. You throw a little girl a ball, and it will hit her in the nose. You throw a little boy a ball, and he will try to catch it. Then it will hit him in the nose.
2. You dress your little girl in her Easter Sunday best, and she'll look just as pretty when you finally make it to church an hour later. You dress a boy in his Easter Sunday best, and he'll somehow find every mud puddle from your
home to the church, even if you're driving there.
3. Boys' rooms are usually messy. Girls' rooms are usually messy, except it's a good smelling mess.
4. A baby girl will pick up a stick and look in wonderment at what nature has made. A baby boy will pick up a stick and turn it into a gun.
5. When girls play with Barbie and Ken dolls, they like to dress them up and play house with them. When boys play with Barbie and Ken dolls, they more...

Dan was 80 years old and still enjoyed chasing girls.
One day, he asked his wife is she minded.
"Why should I be upset?" she replied. "Dogs chase cars, but they can't drive."

Audrey Greyson was a busy housewife with a demanding husband, six children and a large house. The only relief Audrey got from her chores was the twice-a-week bridge game she shared with a dozen other women. The only flaw in the bridge club relationship was that Audrey loved to tell off-color stories and the girls didn't want to hear them.
To teach Audrey a lesson, the other women decided that the next time she told an off-color story, they'd just get up, walk out, and meet at another home but without Audrey.
Sure enough, at the next bridge club meeting, Audrey started, "You know, girls, there's a rumor going around that a busload of prostitutes will be leaving in the morning for that big gold find up in Alaska, and they say..." Just then, the women all stood up and started for the door.
Audrey was disconcerted, but only for a moment. Then she understood what was going on and said, "Hey! Girls! Hold on, hold on! There's plenty of time because the bus more...

There were three girls walking down an empty street. They stop in front of this beautiful house. They knock on the door and an old lady answers.
"May we come in?" They ask.
"Sure. But whatever you do, DON'T STEP ON A DUCK."
They think she was probably off her rocker but still step in and walk around.
The first girl see's this really handsome man standing just a couple of feet away from her. She runs up to him and WHAM! She steps on a duck and gets tied to the most gross looking man in the world.
Then the next girl walks in and sees another man and runs up to him and steps on a duck. WHAM! She gets tied to an even uglier man.
Now the third girl, seeing what the other girls get tied to, looked and saw a really handsome guy and looks around. Hmmm no duck. She runs up to him and she gets tied to him. Heaven at last.
"What happened to you?" She asks as she rests her head on his shoulder.
"I stepped on a duck."

A guy starts talking to two women in a bar, they turnout to be Siamese twins, and they wind up back at hisapartment. He makes love to one, and then starts to work on theother. He realizes that the first one might get boredwatching, so he her asks what she'd like to do. She says, "Is that a trombone in the corner? I'd loveto play your trombone." So she plays it while he screws her sister. A few weeks later, the girls are walking past the guy'sapartment building. One of the girls says, "Let's stopup and see that guy." The other girl says, "Gee...do you think he'd remember us?"

There is always a creative (and permanent) solution to any problem:
According to a radio report, a middle school in Oregon was faced with a unique problem. A number of girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick, they would press their lips to the mirrors, leaving dozens of little lip prints.
Finally, the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the custodian. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every day.
To demonstrate how difficult it was to clean the mirrors, she asked the custodian to clean one of the mirrors. He proceeded to take out a long-handled brush, dip it into the nearest toilet and scrub the mirror.
Since then there have been no lip prints on the mirror.

Why are chorus girls like barge horses? They have to tow the line!