Glove Jokes / Recent Jokes

A married woman is having an affair. Whenever her lover comes over, she puts her nine-year-old son in the closet. One day, the woman hears a car in the driveway and puts her lover in the closet as well. Inside the closet, the little boy says, "It's dark in here, isn't it?" "Yes it is." the man replies." You wanna buy a baseball?" the little boy asks." No thanks." the man replies." I think you do want to buy a baseball" the little extortionist continues." Okay. How much?" the man replies, after considering the position he is in. "Twenty-five dollars." the little boy replies." Twenty-five dollars!" the man repeats incredulously, but complies to protect his hidden position. The following week, the lover is visiting the woman again, when she hears a car in the driveway and again places her lover in the closet with her little boy." It's dark in here, isn't it?" the boy starts off." Yes it more...

Doc, Doc!!! iv got a problem. Well out with it son. iv got 5 pinises. good lord man!!! how do your pants fit. like a glove.

SAFETY INSTRUCTIONS. READ AND SAVE THESE INSTRUCTIONS.
WARNING: The following basic safety precautions should always be followed to reduce the risk of fire, shock and personal injury.
Check the voltage on the nameplate.
Implies check the face to see if all is OK
Keep the work place clean.
Which means, ensure there are no knifes, blades or other objects within reach. These invite injuries to the tool (e.g Bobbitization), or to the personnel.
Consider the work environment.
Keep the area well lit (Unfortunately 90% of the time tool is used in dark)
Keep children away.
Before operating the tool make sure that the children are fast asleep.
Store the tool.
When not in use, store the tool in a dry place away from children's reach.
Do not force the tool.
The tool will do its job better and safer at a rate for which it is intended. Do not overwork the tool.
Use the right tool.
When the job is big and the tool is small then change the more...

A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange.
Officer: "May I see your driver's license?"
Driver: "I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI."
Officer: "May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?"
Driver: "It's not my car. I stole it."
Officer: "The car is stolen?"
Driver: "That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card
in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there."
Officer: "There's a gun in the glove box?"
Driver: "Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who
owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk."
Officer: "There's a body in the trunk?!"
Driver: "Yes, sir."
Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly
surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the more...

A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:
Officer: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.
Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.
Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.
Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:
Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is. It was valid.
Captain: Who's car is this?
Driver: It's more...

A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:Officer: May I see your driver's license? Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle? Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.Officer: The car is stolen? Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.Officer: There's a gun in the glove box? Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!? Driver: Yes, sir.Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain.The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:Captain: Sir, can I see your license? Driver: Sure. Here it is.It was valid.Captain: Who's car is this? Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner' card.The driver owned the more...

A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:Officer: May I see your driver's license? Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle? Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.Officer: The car is stolen? Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.Officer: There's a gun in the glove box? Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!? Driver: Yes, sir. Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:Captain: Sir, can I see your license? Driver: Sure. Here it is. It was valid.Captain: Who's car is this? Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the registration.Captain: Could you slowly more...