"Funny stuff from some power tool manuals (sexual references)" joke

SAFETY INSTRUCTIONS. READ AND SAVE THESE INSTRUCTIONS.
WARNING: The following basic safety precautions should always be followed to reduce the risk of fire, shock and personal injury.
Check the voltage on the nameplate.
Implies check the face to see if all is OK
Keep the work place clean.
Which means, ensure there are no knifes, blades or other objects within reach. These invite injuries to the tool (e.g Bobbitization), or to the personnel.
Consider the work environment.
Keep the area well lit (Unfortunately 90% of the time tool is used in dark)
Keep children away.
Before operating the tool make sure that the children are fast asleep.
Store the tool.
When not in use, store the tool in a dry place away from children's reach.
Do not force the tool.
The tool will do its job better and safer at a rate for which it is intended. Do not overwork the tool.
Use the right tool.
When the job is big and the tool is small then change the job. Never force a small tool to do the job of a heavy duty tool.
Dress properly.
Do not wear loose jewellery, when using the tool as it may get caught in the moving parts.
Use a rubber glove (condom) when using the tool outdoors.
Do not abuse the tool.
Never pull the tool by its balls!, to disconnect it from the socket.
Secure the job.
Use clamps to hold the job. It is safer that way, it frees both the hands for other uses.
Maintain the tool.
Keep the tool clean for safer and better performance.
Inspect the tool periodically and, if damaged have it repaired by a qualified person.
Disconnect the tool.
When servicing.
Avoid unintentional starting.
Always keep your emotions under control.
Stay alert.
Watch what you are doing. (Drilling the right hole or the wrong one!)
Use common sense.
Do not operate the tool when tired, or after alcohol
Check damaged parts.
Before using the tool check the guarding parts (e.g rubber glove), ensure that they will operate properly and perform the intended functions.
Have the tool serviced by a qaulified person.
Repairs must be carried out by a qualified person otherwise this may result in damage to the tool and the user.