Goat Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: What do you get when you cross a sherpa and a mountain goat?
A: Nothing. you can't cross two scalars.

Preparation for ParenthoodPreparation for parenthood is not just a matter of reading books anddecorating the nursery. Here are 12 simple tests for expectant parentsto take to prepare themselves for the real-life experience of being amother or father. 1. Women: to prepare for maternity, put on a dressing gown and stick abeanbag down the front. Leave it there for 9 months. After 9 months, take out 10% of the beans. Men: to prepare for paternity, go the local drug store, tip thecontents of your wallet on the counter, and tell the pharmacist tohelp himself. Then go to the supermarket. Arrange to have your salarypaid directly to their head office. Go home. Pick up the paper andread it for the last time. 2. Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple whoare already parents and berate them about their methods ofdiscipline, lack of patience, appallingly low tolerance levels, andhow they have allowed their children to run riot. Suggest ways inwhich they might improve their more...

This joke is fairly long but a guarenteed laugh!
There was a young farmer who was in need of a rooster. So he head down to the local shop to buy one.
He then says to the shopkeeper: "hello mister! I am in need of a rooster. Do you have one?" The shopkeeper replies:
"Why yes I do, but around these parts we don't call them roosters. We call them coq's."
The man replies: "ok, ill take one coq"
So the man is off home with his coq.
The next day the farmer heads down to the shop again. This time to buy a goat. He says to the shopkeeper like yesterday...
"Hello again! I am in need of a goat. Do you have one?" The shopkeeper replies:
"Why yes I do, but we dont call them goat's around here. We call them pullets" The farmer is confused of the shopkeepers habits, but decides to reply kindly: "Ok I'll take one pullet." So the farmer is on his way home with his coq and pullet.
The very next day he goes more...

Bill and Frank are walking in a field and they come across an old-fashioned well. Bill says to Frank "How deep do you think it is?" Frank says, "Let's throw something down and listen for the sound."
Frank picks up an old railroad tie and tosses it down the well. All of a sudden a goat comes galloping across the field and jumps in the well. "Did you ever see anything like that before?" muses Bill.
A few minutes later a girl comes up and asks if either of them have seen a goat. Bill explains "Well actually, we did just see a goat. It was the darndest thing. He just came running and jumped in this well."
"Oh that can't be my goat," she exclaimed with relief. "My goat was tied to a railroad tie."

There's a group of teens walking through the forest, and they come upon a hole in the ground. They look down and notice how big it is, so one of them throws down a pebble... but they don't hear anything. So they throw down a bigger rock, but they still don't hear anything. So they all pushed a huge boulder into the hole, but still, they didn't hear anything... they finally found a train tie and pushed it into the hole when all of a sudden, a goat came running into the forest, bleated then jumped right into the hole. They all looked at each other totally confused remarking how wierd that was. Then a man came running out of the forest, and cried, "have you seen my goat? he was tied to a train tie"

The buxom country lass had gone to town to do some shopping and, on her way home after dark, encountered one of the neighboring farm boys returning from a day at the market. The two had walked together for a while when the girl said shyly, "I'm almost afraid to be alone with you like this-you might try to take advantage of me."
"Take advantage of you?" the handsome lad gulped. "Here I am, carrying a pitchfork and a chicken in one hand, a washtub in the other and leading a goat. I could hardly take advantage of you."
"Well," she continued, "you could always stick the pitchfork in the ground, tie the goat to it and put the chicken under the washtub, couldn't you?"

Bob and John were out hunting one day and came across a goat with her head stuck in a fence. John dropped his drawers and bonged her real good and turned to Bob an says "Want some?" Well, ol Bob says "Sure", and stuck his head in the fence next to the goat.