Goldfish Jokes / Recent Jokes

One day Mongo is in his back yard digging a hole. His neighbor, seeinghim there, decides to investigate." Whatcha doin?" he asked. Mongo replies, "My goldfish died and I'm burying him." "That's an awful big hole for a goldfish, ain't it?" asked the neighbor. Mongo shot back, "That's because he's inside your fuckin' cat!'

Little Tim was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, "Whatcha doing, Tim?" "My goldfish died," replied the boy tearfully, without looking up. "And Ive just buried him." The neighbor was concerned. "Thats an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isnt it?" Tim patted down the last heap of earth then replied, "Thats because hes inside your cat."

Dec 25
My dearest darling Edward,
What a wonderful surprise has just greeted me! That sweet partridge, in that lovely little pear-tree; what an enchanting, romantic, poetic present! Bless you, and thank you.
Your deeply loving,
EmilyDec. 26
Beloved Edward,
The two turtle-doves arrived this morning, and are cooing away in the pear-tree as I write. I'm so touched and grateful!
With undying love, as always,
EmilyDec. 27
My darling Edward,
You do think of the most original presents! Who ever thought of sending anybody three French hens? Do they really come all the way from France? It's a pity we have no chicken coops, but I expect we'll find some. Anyway, thank-you so much; they're lovely.
Your devoted,
EmilyDec. 28
Dearest Edward,
What a surprise! Four calling birds arrived this morning. They are very sweet, even if they do call rather loudly - they make telephoning almost impossible - but I expect they'll calm down more...

Two goldfish in a tank. One turns to the other and says, "Do you know how to drive this thing?"

Q: Where do Batman's goldfish live? A: In the bat tub

Wee Hughie was in the garden filling in a hole when his English neighbour peered over the fence. Interested in what the mad man was up to, he politely asked, `What are you doing there, Hughie?` `My goldfish died,` replied Wee Hughie tearfully without looking up, `and I`ve just buried him.` The English neighbour was very concerned. `That`s an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn`t it?` Wee Hughie patted down the last heap of dirt then replied, `That`s because he`s inside your cat.`

Little Tim was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, "Whatcha doing, Tim?" "My goldfish died," replied the boy tearfully, without looking up. "And I've just buried him." The neighbor was concerned. "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?" Tim patted down the last heap of earth then replied, "That's because he's inside your cat."