Goodbye Jokes

A couple were going out for the evening. They'd got ready, all dolled up, cat put out, etc. The taxi arrives, and as the couple got out, the cat shoots back in. They don't want the cat shut in the house, so the wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes upstairs to chase the cat out. The wife, not wanting it known that the house will be empty explains to the taxi driver "He's just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother." A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab -"Sorry I took so long" he says, "Stupid old thing was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out!"

A guy was listening to his kid say his nightly prayers.
The kid says, "Goodnight mommy, daddy, grandpa, and goodbye grandma."
The next day the grandma dies. The guy thinks this is really weird.
That night, the kid says "Good-
night mommy, daddy, and goodbye grandpa" The next day the grandpa dies.
The father thinks this is really weird. That night the kid says, "Goodnight mommy, and goodbye daddy."
The father freaks. He's thinking I'm gonna die. So the next day he goes to work really slowly and carefully, and is nice to everyone at work.
At the end of the day, he drives home really carefully and collapses into a chair.
He says," Honey, can you get me a cup of coffee? I've had a really bad day." She says "YOU'VE had a bad day! I found the mailman dead on the doorstep!"

Do you realize 25% of all married men kiss their wife goodbye when they leave the house? Of these same men 90% will kiss their house goodbye when their wife leaves.

Walking through a supermarket, a young man noticed an old lady following him around. He ignored her for a while, but when he got to the checkout line, she got in front of him.
"Pardon me," she said. "I'm sorry if I've been staring, but you look just like me son who died recently.
"I'm sorry for your loss," the young man replied. "Is there anything I can do for you?"
"Well, as I'm leaving, could you just say' Goodbye, mother!?' It would make me feel so much better." She gave him a sweet smile.
"Of course I can," the young man promised.
As she gathered her bags and left, he called out "Goodbye, mother!" just as she had requested, feeling good about her smile.
Stepping up to the counter, he saw that his total was about $100 higher than it should be. "That amount is wrong," he said. "I only have a few items!"
"Oh, your mother said that you would pay for her," more...

90% of men kiss their wife goodbye when they leave the house. The rest kiss their house goodbye when they leave the wife.