Goose Jokes / Recent Jokes

Knock Knock
Who's there!
Goose!
Goose who!
Goose who's knocking at your door! Knock Knock
Who's there!
Goose!
Goose who!
Goose see a doctor, you don't look well!

The recent announcement that Donner and Blitzen have elected to take the early reindeer retirement package has triggered a good deal of concern about whether they will be replaced, and about other restructuring decisions at the North Pole.
Streamlining is due to the North Pole's loss of dominance of the season's gift distribution business. Home shopping channels and mail order catalogues have diminished Santa's market share. He could not sit idly by and permit further erosion of the profit picture.
The reindeer downsizing was made possible through the purchase of a late model Japanese sled for the CEO's annual trip. Improved productivity from Dasher and Dancer, who summered at the Harvard Business School, is anticipated. Reduction in reindeer will also lessen airborne environmental emissions for which the North Pole has received unfavorable press.
I am pleased to inform you that Rudolph's role will not be disturbed. Tradition still counts for something at the North more...

Effective immediately, the following economizing measures are being implemented in the "Twelve Days of Christmas" subsidiary:
The partridge will be retained, but the pear tree, which never produced the cash crop forecasted, will be replaced by a plastic hanging plant, providing considerable savings in maintenance;
Two turtle doves represent a redundancy that is simply not cost effective. In addition, their romance during working hours could not be condoned. The positions are, therefore, eliminated;
The three French hens will remain intact. After all, everyone loves the French;
The four calling birds will be replaced by an automated voice mail system, with a call waiting option. An analysis is underway to determine who the birds have been calling, how often and how long they talked;
The five golden rings have been put on hold by the Board of Directors. Maintaining a portfolio based on one commodity could have negative implications for institutional more...

Q: What can a goose do, a duck cant, and a lawyer should? A: Stick his bill up his ass.

there is 3 guys one was a american jewish the others was israeli and the other was rabbi so they are heaven and they go to a place were they could meet girls so the guy who runs the place tells them i want you to go one at a time and dont touch the goose or trip over the goose so the american jewish go's in and comes back with an ugly girl and the other two ask him what happend and the guy replys i touched the goose
then the rabbi go's in and comes back with an ugly girl and they asked him the same question and he answers i triped over the goose. So the israelin go's in and he comes out with a hot chick and the other two ask him what happend but before he could answer the girl answers i touched the goose

Q: What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should? A: Stick his bill up his ass.

Begins each day, "I pledge allegiance, to Satan - crap, I mean the flag"
Instead of apples, kids place "eyes of newt" on her desk
On math tests, every word problem begins, "A broomstick traveling at 50 miles per hour"
During "Duck, duck, goose" one kid actually turned into a goose
When showing "The Wizard of Oz," refers to main character as "That bitch Dorothy"
She requires students to cover textbooks with "skin flayed from a hanged man"
She's the gym teacher (...oops, that's "Top Ten Signs Your Teacher Is A Lesbian")
Some kid throws water on her, you get a substitute for the rest of the year
Voodoo doll plus pin equals class clown with giant pain in his ass
She smokes Salems - dude, think about it
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