Goosey Jokes

UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE
Bamber Gascoigne: What was Ghandi's first name?
Contestant: Goosey, Goosey?
THE WEAKEST LINK
Anne Robinson: In traffic, what "J" is where two roads meet?
Contestant: Jool carriageway.
Anne Robinson: Which Italian city is overlooked by Vesuvius?
Contestant: Bombay.
Anne Robinson: What insect is commonly found hovering above lakes?
Contestant: Crocodiles.
Anne Robinson: Wh...?
Contestant (interrupting): Pass!
Anne Robinson: In olden times, what were minstrels, travelling
entertainers or chocolate salesmen?
Contestant: Chocolate salesmen.
Anne Robinson: The Bible, the New Testament. The Four Gospels were written by Matthew, Mark, Luke and...?
Contestant: (long pause) Joe?
Anne Robinson: Who was a famous Indian leader, whose name begins with G, revered by millions, who was assassinated and received a state funeral?
Contestant: Geronimo!
NATIONAL LOTTERY JET more...

1. What's the difference between Aussies and pigs?
>>>
>>> Pigs don't turn into Aussies when they drink.
>>>
>>>>
2. What's the difference between an Australian and a
>>> computer?
>>>
>>> You only have to punch information into a computer once.
>>>
>>>
>>>3. Why do birds fly upside down over Australian?
>>>
>>> It's not worth shitting on.
>>>
>>>
>>>4. Why was the Christ Child not born in Australia?
>>>
>>> You'd have a job finding three wise men, much less
>>>a virgin! !!!
>>>
>>>
>>>5. What do you call a field full of Australians?
>>>
>>> A vacant lot.
>>>
>>>
>>>6. Parachutes
>>>
>>> An Englishman, an Irishman, an Australian and a New
>>>Zealander were onboard a plane, getting ready to make their
>>>first parachute jump. The Englishman's exit was spectacular; he
>>>leapt out of the plane with the cry, " I am doing this more...