Gore Jokes / Recent Jokes
When President Obama asked Al Gore if global warming was real Gore replied
"Just ask that puddle, aka Frosty the Snowman."
According to the President, the first runner up in the White House dog-naming contest was DOTUS.
FYI: these Secret Service translations:
POTUS=President of the United States,
FLOTUS=First Lady of the United States
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The Top 11 Changes at the White House Now That the Clintons have a Puppy
11. To avoid confusion, staff begins referring to Madelaine Albright by name.
10. New' doggy door' makes it that much easier to sneak out a midnight run to McDonald's.
9. At long last, Bill won't have to flinch *every* time he hears' Bad boy.'
8.' Bitch' label now somewhat ambiguous.
7. Accusations of random crotch-sniffing at the White House no longer automatically implicate the President.
6. New, unwelcome presents under the Christmas tree.
5. Obviously miffed Socks slips Kenneth Starr a note....
4. Pipe and more...
On July 8, 1947, witnesses claim a spaceship with five aliens aboard crashed on a sheep-and-cattle ranch outside Roswell, an incident they say has been covered up by the military.
March 31, 1948, nine months after that day, Al Gore was born.
Possible titles for Monica Lewinsky's new book
1. I Suck At My Job
2. What Really Goes Down In The White House
3. How I Blew It In Washington
4. You Have to Work Hard to Find the Softer Side of the President
5. Clear and Present Boner
6. Testing the Limits of the Gag Rule
7. Going Back for Gore
8. Podium Girl
9. Secret Services to the President
10. Harass is Not Two Words: The Story of Bill Clinton
11. Deep Inside The Oval Office
12. The Congressional Study on White House Intern Positions
13. She's Chief of MY Staff!
14. Al Gore Is In Command For The Next 30 Minutes
15. How To Beat Off the Government
16. Going Down and Moving Up
17. Members of the Presidential Cabinet
18. Me and My Big more...
From a Gore Vidal speech to the National Press Club carried on NPR:
I heard bad news on the way over here: the Ronald Reagan Presidential
Library was just destroyed by fire, and, tragically, both books were a
total loss. Worse yet, he wasn't finished coloring the second one.
Kent
Bush and Gore went fishing. Gore went on one side of the lake and Bush on the other. Later that day, Bush came back with 129 fish and Gore came back with none. Gore screamed for a revote. The next day bush came back with 173 fish and Gore once again screamed for a revote. So on the third day, Gore sent a secret service to spy on Bush. Bush came back with 293 fish this time and gore got none. Gore goes to the secret service spy and asks whether Bush is cheating. "Yes," replied the spy, "he's putting holes in the ice."
Every Chad down in Chadville liked voting a lot.
But the Grinch, from North Chadville, most certainly did not!
The Grinch hated voting! He thought it a bore.
Now, please don't ask why. Could be Bush, could be Gore.
It could be his heart bled with liberal mush.
It could be, perhaps, that he listened to Rush.
But I think the real reason his trust was so shattered
Was the great Grinchy view that his vote never mattered.
Whatever the reason, Lack of trust, lack of goals,
The Grinch dreaded that day when Chads went to the polls.
He just hated those speeches and negative ads,
And when push came to shove, he just hated the Chads.
He just hated their theme parks, their football-team rooters,
He just hated their gun laws, their barmaids at Hooters.
He just hated their weather, even hated their hate.
And he hated that they were a battleground state.
"So they're making their choices," he snarled with a more...