Gore Jokes / Recent Jokes

Did you hear that they have removed Al Gore`s name from consideration for the University of Alabama Head Coaching job? He can`t win in Tennessee, either!
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly... and for the same reason.
Al Gore`s Biography: "Bad Timing: A Presidential Obsession"
Gore, Nader, and Bush went on a boat trip. During their trip, the boat began to sink. As there were three of them, and only one life vest, they decided to vote on who would get it. They passed a hat around, then counted the ballots. Bush got one vote. Nader got one vote. Gore got seven votes.
"What`s the difference between Al Gore and a puppy? After three weeks, a puppy opens its eyes and stops whining."
"Why hasn`t Bush commented on the rulings? He said he didn`t think the judges were ready because he saw them in their robes this morning."
"What`s the difference between Al Gore`s inauguration and more...

Al Gore and the Clintons are flying on Air Force One. Bill looks at Al, chuckles and says, "You know, I could throw a $100.00 bill out the window right now and make one person very happy." Al shrugs his stiff shoulders and says, "Well, I could throw ten $10.00 bills out the window and make 10 people very happy." Hillary tosses her perfectly hair-sprayed hair and says, "I could throw one hundred $1.00 bills out the window and make a hundred people very happy." Chelsea rolls her eyes, looks at all of them and says, "I could throw all three of you out the window and make the whole country happy."

US Attorney General John Ashcroft was visiting an elementary school.After fifteen minutes speaking he says: 'I will now answer anyquestions you have.' Bobby stands up and says: 'I have four questions':1. How did Bush win the election with fewer votes than Gore? 2. Why haven't you caught Osama bin Laden? 3. Why are you using the American Patriot Act to limit civil liberties? 4. Where are the weapons of mass destruction in Iraq? Just then the bell goes and the kids rushed out to play. Upon returning, Mr Ashcroft said: "I am sorry we were interrupted. I will answer any questions you have.' A little girl called Julie stands upand says: 'I have six questions':1. How did Bush win the election with fewer votes than Gore? 2. Why haven't you caught Osama bin Laden? 3. Why are you using the American Patriot Act to limit civil liberties? 4. Where are the weapons of mass destruction in Iraq? 5. Why did the bell ring twenty minutes early? 6. Where is Bobby?

BREAKING NEWS: GOD OVERRULES SUPREME COURT VERDICT Bush to be smitten later today In a stunning development this morning, God invoked the "one nation, under God" clause of the Pledge of Allegiance to overrule the Supreme Court`s decision that handed the White House to George Bush. "I`m not sure where the Supreme Court gets off," God said this morning on a rare Today Show appearance, "but I`m sure as hell not going to lie back and let Bush get away with this bullshit." "I`ve watched analysts argue for weeks now that the exact vote count in Florida `will never be known.` Well, I`m God and I DO know exactly who voted for whom. Let`s cut to the chase: Gore won Florida by exactly 20, 219 votes." Shocking political analysts and pundits, God`s unexpected verdict overrules the official Electoral College tally and awards Florida to Al Gore, giving him a 289-246 victory. The Bush campaign is analyzing God`s Word for possible grounds for appeal. more...

Bill Clinton and Al Gore go into a local diner for lunch.

As they read the menu, the waitress comes over and asks Clinton,
"Are you ready to order?" Clinton replies, "Yes, I'd like a
quickie!"

"A quickie?!?" the waitress replies. "Sir, given the past
situation of your personal life I don't think that is a good idea.
I'll come back when you are ready to order from the menu!" She walks
away.

Gore leans over to Clinton and says, "It's pronounced Quiche."

Air Force One crashes, instantly killing President Clinton, Vice President Gore,
and their wives. Being the very important people that they are, St. Peter greets
them personally at the Pearly Gates and informs them that they have been granted
an audience with God. They are lead by St. Peter to a tremendous thrown room.
The Supreme Being, of course, is seated upon the throne.
"And who might you be?" God asks of the Vice President.
"I am Albert Gore Jr., Vice President of the United States of America."
"Ah, yes. You have done much for the environment. I love your work. Come sit on
my left. And you there, who are you?"
"Your holiness, I am William Jefferson Clinton, President of the United States."
"Right. You are a brave man who has confronted some difficult issues. Come sit
on my right. Now, who might you be?"
"My name is Hillary Rodham Clinton and you are sitting on my seat."

George Bush goes to a primary school to talk to the kids to get a little PR.

After his talk he offers question time. One little boy puts up his hand and George asks him his name.

"Stanley," responds the little boy.

"And what is your question, Stanley?"

"I have 4 questions:
First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN? Second, why are you President when Al Gore got more votes? Third, whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden?" Fourth, why are we so worried about gay-marriage when ½ of all Americans don't have health insurance?"

Just then, the bell rings for recess. George Bush informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess

When they resume George says, "OK, where were we? Oh, that's right, Question time. Who has a question?"

Another little boy puts up his hand. George points him out and asks him his more...