Gorgeous Jokes / Recent Jokes

Finally, a definition of Marketing that makes sense.... You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, "I'm fantastic in bed." That's Direct Marketing. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says, "He's fantastic in bed." That's Advertising. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic in bed." That's Telemarketing. You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink. You open the door for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her a ride, and then say, "By the way, I'm fantastic in bed." That's Public Relations. You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says, I hear you're fantastic in bed." That's Brand Recognition.

A brunette is walking through the country, when she finds a bottle. She rubs it and, you guessed it, a genie appears. The genie says, "You are allowed three wishes. But, I must warn you, anything you get, all the blondes in the world get twice as much." The woman says, "Okay. Give me a nice house." The genie replies, "You now have one nice house and all the blondes in the world have two." The the lady says, "Give me a gorgeous man." The genie replies, "You now have one gorgeous man, while all the blondes have two." The lady says, "For my last wish, Genie, see that stick over there? Beat me half to death with it."

A man was sent to hell to pay for his sins. As he was being taken to his place of eternal torment, he passed a room where a lawyer was having an intimate conversation with a gorgeous woman.
"What a rip-off," the man muttered. "I have to roast for all eternity, and that lawyer gets to spend it with a gorgeous woman."
Poking the man with his pitchfork, the escorting demon snarled, "Who are you to question that woman's punishment?"

(Professor at CBM was explaining marketing concepts)
You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, "I am very rich. Marry me!"
That's Direct Marketing.
You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at
you says, "He's very rich. Marry him."
That's Advertising.
You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day you call and say "Hi, I'm very rich. Marry me."
That's Telemarketing.
You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink. You open the door for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her a ride, and then say, "By the way, I'm very rich. Will you marry me?"
That's Public Relations.
You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says, "You are very more...

Bill Gates died and was greeted at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter. "You have a choice. Take a look around here, then pop down to hell and see what Satan has to offer. Check both places out and then let me know your decision," said St. Peter.
Bill took a look around heaven and saw lots of somber people singing hymns and praising the Lord. He then took a look around hell and saw beautiful beaches, lots of sun, sand, cool drinks and gorgeous women.
He went back to give St. Peter his decision. "I realize you're doing some wonderful things here," he said, "but hell seems much more with it, more my kind of scene. No hard feelings, but I pick hell."
"No problem," said St. Peter, "you've got it."
Bill then found himself back in hell, neck deep in fire and brimstone, suffering eternal torment. Not being able to figure it out, he yelled up to St. Peter, "Hey, St. Peter, what happened to all the beautiful beaches, cool drinks more...

A man walks into a very posh Rodeo Drive furrier with a gorgeous blonde on his arm. "Show the lady your finest mink!" the fellow exclaims. So the owner of the shop goes in the back and comes out with an absolutely gorgeous full-length coat. As the lady tries it on, the furrier sidles up to the guy and discreetly whispers, "Ah, sir, that particular fur goes for $65,000." "No problem! I'll write you a check!" "Very good, sir." says the shop owner. "Today is Saturday. You may come by on Monday to pick it up, after the check has cleared." So the man and the woman leave. On Monday, the fellow returns. The store owner is outraged: "How dare you show your face in here?! There wasn't a single penny in your checking account!!" "I just had to come by," grinned the guy, "to thank you for the most wonderful weekend of my life!"

A bus carrying only ugly people crashes into an oncoming truck, and everyone inside dies. They then get to meet their maker, and because of the grief they have experienced; He decides to grant them one wish each, before they enter Paradise.
They're all lined up, and God asks the first one what the wish is. "I want to be gorgeous," and so God snaps His fingers, and it is done.
The second one in line hears this and says "I want to be gorgeous too."
Another snap of His fingers and the wish is granted. This goes on for a while but when God is halfway down the line, the last guy in line starts laughing. When there are only ten people left, this guy is rolling on the floor, laughing. Finally, God reaches this guy and asks him what his wish will be.
The guy calms down and says: "Make' em all ugly again."