Government Jokes / Recent Jokes
Why is a government worker like a shotgun with a broken firing pin?
It won't work and you can't fire it.
For the past three years, the government has worked hard and spent many tax dollars to find the approval ratings for unemployment.
They have concluded that a 7% unemployment level is acceptable to 93% of the working population.
Now let’s just hope that the unemployment rate doesn’t change.
A french horn and a lawnmower?
You can tune a lawnmower.
An oboe and an onion?
Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces.
A saxophone and a chainsaw?
The grip.
An accordion and a trampoline?
You are supposed to take off your shoes before jumping on the
trampoline.
A trumpet player and a government bond?
Government bonds eventually mature and earn money.
The government's system administration team, working with computer manufacturers and experts in the computer industry, has found a lower cost alternative to address the Y2K (Year 2000) issue: The goal is to remove all computers from the desktop by December 31, 1999. In exchange for taking every computer, an Etch-A-Sketch will be issued to all Americans. There are many reasons for doing this: 1. No Y2K problems. 2. No technical glitches keeping working from being done. 3. No more wasted time reading and writing E-Mails. Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) from the Etch-A-Sketch Help Desk: Q: My Etch-A-Sketch has funny lines all over the screen. What do I do? A: Pick it up and shake it. Q: How do I turn my Etch-A-Sketch off? A: Pick it up and shake it. Q: What's the shortcut for Undo? A: Pick it up and shake it. Q: How do I create a new document? A: Pick it up and shake it. Q: How do I set the background and foreground to the same color? A: Pick it up and shake it. Q: What is the proper more...
Yo Mama is so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday!
REDMOND, Wash. - Oct. 21, 1997 -- In direct response to accusations made by the Department of Justice, the Microsoft Corp. announced today that it will be acquiring the federal government of the United States of America for an undisclosed sum.
'It's actually a logical extension of our planned growth', said Microsoft chairman Bill Gates,' It really is going to be a positive arrangement for everyone'.
Microsoft representatives held a briefing in the oval office of the White House with U.S. President Bill Clinton, and assured members of the press that changes will be' minimal'. The United States will be managed as a wholly owned division of Microsoft. An initial public offering is planned for July of next year, and the federal government is expected to be profitable by' Q4 1999 at latest', according to Microsoft president Steve Ballmer.
In a related announcement, Bill Clinton stated that he had' willingly and enthusiastically' accepted a position as a more...
Question: Why is the Indian Government the most neutral in the world?
Answer: Because it does not even interfere in its own affairs.