Grandmother Jokes / Recent Jokes

Little Johnny was spending the weekend with his grandmother who decided to take him to the park on Saturday morning. It had been snowing all night and everything looked beautiful.
"Doesn't it look like an artist painted this gorgeous scenery?" commented his grandmother. "Johnny, did you know that God painted this especially for you?"
"Yes," Johnny said, "God did it and He did it left handed."
Confused, his grandmother asked, "What makes you say God did this with His left hand?"
"Well, last week our Sunday school teacher told us that Jesus sits on God's right hand!" Johnny explained.

Little Bobby was spending the weekend with his grandmother after a particularly trying
week in kindergarten. His grandmother decided to take him to the park on Saturday morning. It had been snowing all night and everything was beautiful. His grandmother remarked, “Doesn't it look like an artist painted this scenery? Did you know God painted this just for you?”Bobby said, “Yes, God did it and he did it left handed.”This confused his grandmother a bit, and she asked him, “What makes you say God did
this with his left hand?”“Well,” said Bobby, “we learned at Sunday School last week that Jesus sits on God's
right hand!”

A little black boy goes into the kitchen where his mom is baking. He puts his hand in the flour and wipes it all over his face. He looks at his mom and says, "Mom, look, I'm a white boy!"His mom slaps him in the kisser and says, "Go show your father!"He goes to his dad in the living room and says, "Look dad, I'm a white boy!" His dad slaps him hard in the face and says, "Go show your Grandmother!"The boy goes in his grandmother's room and says, "Look granny, I'm a white boy!" His grandmother slaps him in the face and sends him back to his mother. His mother says "See. Did you learn anything from that?!"To which the boy replies, "Sure enough did. I've only been white for 5 minutes and I already hate you black people!"

A man moves into a nudist colony. He receives a letter from his mother asking him to send her a current picture. Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives in a nudist colony, he cuts one in half and sends her the top part.
Later he receives another letter asking him to send a picture to his grandmother. The man cuts another picture in half, but accidentally sends the bottom half. He is really worried when he realizes that he sent the wrong part, but then remembers how bad his grandmother's eyesight is and hopes she won't notice.
A few weeks later he receives a letter from his grandmother. It says, "Thank you for the picture. Change your hair style...it makes your nose look long."

Ferne Southern said she was staying with her 8-year-old granddaughter, Brooke, while her parents were out of town.Brooke was delaying bedtime, as usual, so her grandmother told her about counting sheep to fall asleep.The 8-year-old thought that was a good idea. Everything was quiet for a while. But just as grandmother was dozing off, a voice sounded:"Nana?""Yes?""There are 38."

Little Tony was so happy to see his grandmother that he ran up and gave her a big hug. "I'm so happy to see you, grandma. Now daddy will have to do that trick he's been promising to do!"His grandmother was curious. "What trick is that, sweetie?"The little guy grinned at her. "I heard daddy tell mommy that he would climb the gosh-darn walls if you came to visit us again!"

A ten-year old, under the tutelage of her grandmother, was becoming quite knowledgeable about the Bible. Then one day she floored her grandmother by asking, "Which Virgin was the mother of Jesus? The Virgin Mary or the King James Virgin?" --------------------------------------A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping!"--------------------------------------A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, looking at the old pages as he turned them. Then something fell out of the Bible and he picked it up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree that has been pressed in between the pages." Momma, look what I found," the boy called out. "What have you got there, dear?" his mother asked. With astonishment in the young boy's voice he answered, more...