Grandpa Jokes / Recent Jokes

Grandpa: You youngsters are soft and lazy today. When I was your age I got up at six oclock every morning and walked five or six miles before breakfast. I used to think nothing of it. Fred: I dont blame you, Grandpa. I wouldnt think, much of it myself.

A man was walking down the street when he noticed his grandpa sitting on the porch, in the rocking chair, with nothing on from the waist down. "Grandpa, what are you doing?" he exclaimed. The old man looked off in the distance and did not answer him. "Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here with nothing on below the waist?" heasked again. The old man slyly looked at him and said, "Well, last week I sat out herewith no shirt on, and I got a stiff neck. This was your Grandma's idea!"

A man goes to visit his 85-year-old grandpa in the hospital. "How are you grandpa?" he asks." Feeling fine," says the old man." What's the food like?" "Terrific, wonderful menus." "And the nursing?" "Just couldn't be better. These young nurses really take care of you." "What about sleeping? Do you sleep okay?" "No problem at all --- nine hours solid every night. At 10 o'clock they bring me a cup of hot chocolate and a Viagra tablet, and that's it. I go out like a light." The grandson is puzzled and a little alarmed by this, so he rushes off to question the Nurse in charge. "What are you people doing?" he asks. "I'm told you're giving an 85-year-old Viagra on a daily basis. Surely that can't be true?" "Oh, yes," replies the nurse. "Every night at 10 o'clock we give him a cup of chocolate and a Viagra tablet. It works wonderfully well. The chocolate makes him sleep, and the more...

One day, Jimmy is walking home from school. When he gets home, he finds his grandpa sitting on the Porch without any pants on!
So he goes up to his grandpa and says "Grandpa, do you realize that you're not wearing any pants?" His grandpa replies "Yes Jimmy, I do."
Jimmy then says "Well, why are you outside without any pants on Grandpa?"
His grandpa looks at Jimmy and responds "Well Jimmy, yesterday I sat outside without a shirt to long, and I got a stiff neck. This was your grandma's idea."

There once was a small jokester called Joey, who was visting at his Grandpa's. Now Grandpa was rather short of temper, so after Joey had been standing in the doorway for 5 minutes, trying to decide whether or not to go outside, he said, ''Hurry up, now will you?''
Joey turned around and frowned. ''Keep your hair on,'' he grumbled. Seeing Grandpa's bald head, he giggled, ''Opps! To late!''

One day, Jimmy is walking home from school. When he gets home, he finds his grandpa sitting on the Porch without any pants on! So he goes up to his grandpa and says "Grandpa, do you realize that you're not wearing any pants?" His grandpa replies "Yes Jimmy, I do."Jimmy then says "Well, why are you outside without any pants on Grandpa?"His grandpa looks at Jimmy and responds "Well Jimmy, yesterday I sat outside without a shirt to long, and I got a stiff neck. This was your grandma's idea."

Two little boys were talking, when they got onto the topic of death.
"How do you want to die?" one little boy asked.
"I want to die sleeping, just like my grandpa," replied the other, "not screaming like all the other people in his car!"