Grandpa Jokes / Recent Jokes

A grandfather and his grandson are raking leaves in the yard when the young boy sees an earthworm trying to get back into its hole.
"Hey, Grandpa," the little boy says, "I bet I can put that worm back in that hole."
"I'll bet you five dollars that you can't," replies the grandfather. "It's much too wiggly and limp to put back in that little hole."
The little boy runs into the house and comes back out with a can of hair spray. He then sprays the worm until it's straight and stiff as a board. Picking it up, he stuffs the worm back into the hole. The grandfather gives the little boy five dollars, grabs the can of hair spray and races into the house.
Some time later, the grandfather comes back out and hands the little boy another five dollars.
"But Grandpa, you already gave me five dollars," the little boy says.
"Yes, I know," replies the grandfather. "That's from your Grandma."

A Little Boy Comes Running Into The Room and Says, "Grandpa! Grandpa! Can You Make A Sound Like A Frog?"
The Grandpa says, "I Don't Know, Why?"
The Little Boy Says, "Because Grandma Says As Soon As You Croak, We Can Go To Disneyland!"

A Little Boy Comes Running Into The Room and Says, "Grandpa! Grandpa! Can You Make A Sound Like A Frog?"The Grandpa says, "I Don't Know, Why?"The Little Boy Says, "Because Grandma Says As Soon As You Croak, We Can Go To Disneyland!"

After a Christmas break, a teacher asked her pupils how they spent their holidays. One small boy wrote the following:
We always used to spend Christmas with Grandpa and Grandma. They used to live here in a big brick home, but Grandpa got retarded and they moved to Florida. Now they live in a place with a lot of other retarded people. They all live in little tin boxes. They ride on big three-wheeled tricycles and they all wear name tags because they don't know who they are. They go to a big building, called a wrecked hall, but if it was wrecked, they got it fixed, because its alright now. They play games and do exercises there, but they don't do them very good.
There is a swimming pool there. They go into it and just stand there with their hats on. I guess they don't know how to swim.
As you go into their park, their is a doll house with a little man sitting in it. He watches all day so they can't get out without him seeing them. When they sneak out they go to the beach more...

Did God make you, Grandpa?
Grandpa and granddaugher were sitting talking when she asked, "Did God make you, Grandpa?"
"Yes, God made me," the grandfather answered.
A few minutes later, the little girl asked him, "Did God make me too?"
"Yes, He did," the older man answered.
For a few minutes, the little girl seemed to be studying her grandpa, as well as her own reflection in the mirror, while her grandfather wondered what was running through her mind.
At last she spoke up. "You know, Grandpa," she said, "God's doing a lot better job lately.": )

At the ripe old age of 77, grandpa had decided to marry a young girl of 20. Grandpa's doctor tried to explain that at his age sex with a young girlcould be dangerous, even fatal. Grandpa, not the slightest bit perturbedreplied "Oh well, if she dies, I'll just get myself another one."

One night, a father passed by his son's room and heard his son praying: "God bless Mommy, Daddy, and Grandma. Ta ta, Grandpa." The father didn't quite know what this meant, but was glad his son was praying. The next morning, they found Grandpa dead on the floor of a heart attack. The father reassured himself that it was just a coincidence, but was still a bit spooked. The next night, he heard his son praying again: "God bless Mommy and Daddy. Ta ta, Grandma." The father was worried, but decided to wait until morning. Sure enough, the next morning Grandma was on the floor, dead of a heart attack. Really scared now, the father decided to wait outside his son's door the next night. And sure enough, the boy started to pray: "God bless Mommy. Ta ta, Daddy." Now the father was crapping his pants. He stayed up all night, and went to the doctor's early the next day to make sure his health was fine. When he finally came home, his wife was waiting on the porch. She more...