Grandpa Jokes / Recent Jokes

Grandpa and Grandma always got very excited when they recalled the old days they were together. They made a decision, one day to make it "yesterday once more". They made a date on the riverbank they used to go when they were young.
The next day, Grandpa got up 6 a. m. in the morning, dashed to the bank, picked up a big bunch of wild flowers before sunrise, waited there for his sweetheart to come. But grandpa ended in disappointment grandma never showed up even after sunset.
Grandpa went home in such anger. He opened the door, seeing grandma lying on the sofa with her pillow. He threw the flowers on the floor and questioned: "Why didn't you come to our date?"
Grandma hid her head in the pillow and replied shyly: "Mom didn't allow me to go..."

A man and his grandson are fishing by a peaceful lake beneath some weeping willow trees. The man takes out a cigarette and lights it.
His grandson says, "Grandpa, Can I try some of your cigarette?" Can you touch your asshole with your penis?" he says.
"No," says the little boy. "Then you're not big enough."
A few more minutes pass, and the man takes a beer our of his cooler and opens it. The little boy says,
"Grandpa, can I have some of your beer?"
"Can you touch your asshole with your penis?", he says. "No," says the little boy. "Then you're not old enough."
Time passes and they continue to fish. The little boy gets hungry and he reaches into his lunch box, takes out a bag of cookies and eats one. The grandfather looks at him and says, "Hey they look good. Can I have one of your cookies?"
"Can you touch your asshole with your penis?" says the little boy. more...

A little boy turned to his grandpa and said, "grandpa, talk like a frog."
The Grandpa replied "What?, I'm not going to talk like a frog!"
The little boy again asked, "come on, Grandpa talk like a frog please."
Grandpa again said "No! Go bother your grandmother."
The little boy finally gave up and left.
A little while later the little boy's sister came in and said "Grandpa will you talk like a frog for me?"
Grandpa of course replied, "NO!"
The little girl then said "Please grandpa will you talk just like a frog"?
Grandpa was very disturbed by now and said, "what is it with you and your brother, why in the world do you want me to talk like a frog?"
The little girl looked at her grandpa and said "Well last night daddy told us that when you croak we are going to go to Disney World."

A man goes to visit his 85-year-old grandpa in hospital.
"How are you grandpa?" he asks.
"Feeling fine," says the old man.
"What's the food like?"
"Terrific, wonderful menus."
"And the nursing?"
"Just couldn't be better. These young nurses really take care of you."
"What about sleeping? Do you sleep OK?"
"No problem at all nine hours solid every night. At 10 o'clock they bring me a cup of hot chocolate and a Viagra tablet. .. and that's it. I go out like a light."
The grandson is puzzled and a little alarmed by this, so rushes off to question the nurse in charge. He asks, "What are you people doing, I'm told you're giving an 85-year-old Viagra on a daily basis. Surely that can't be true?"
"Oh, yes," replies the head-nurse. "Every night at 10 o'clock we give him a cup of chocolate and a Viagra tablet. It works wonderfully well. The more...

A man was walking down the street when he noticed his grandpa sitting on the porch, in the rocking chair, with nothing on from the waist down. "Grandpa, what are you doing?" he exclaimed.
The old man looked off in the distance and did not answer him. "Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here with nothing on below the waist?" he asked again.
The old man slyly looked at him and said, "Well, last week I sat out here with no shirt on, and I got a stiff neck. This was your Grandma's idea!"

A man was walking down the street when he noticed his grandpa sitting on the porch, in the rocking chair, with nothing on from the waist down. "Grandpa, what are you doing?" he exclaimed.The old man looked off in the distance and did not answer him. "Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here with nothing on below the waist?" heasked again.The old man slyly looked at him and said, "Well, last week I sat out herewith no shirt on, and I got a stiff neck. This was your Grandma's idea!"

Betsy Sue Jim Bob was walking down the street when she noticed her grandfather sitting on the porch, in the rocking chair, with nothing on from the waist down.' Grandpa, what are you doing?' she exclaimed. The old ma looked off in the distance without answering.' Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here with nothing on below the waist?' she asked again. The old man slowly looked at her and said,' Well, last week I sat out here with no shirt on, and I got a stiff neck. This is your grandma's idea.