Grasshopper Jokes / Recent Jokes
The bartender smiles as the grasshopper sits down. The grasshopper orders a drink, and the bartender says, "You know, we have a drink named after you.""Oh really? You mean you have a drink named Steve?"
CLASSIC VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
MODERN VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others less fortunate are cold and starving.
CBS, NBC and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.
America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that more...
A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says,' 'hey, we have a drink named after you!''
The grasshopper looks surprised and says,' 'you have a drink named steve?''
THE ORIGINAL VERSIONThe ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold. MODERN CANADIAN VERSIONThe ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come the winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving. The CBC shows up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. Canadians are stunned by the sharp contrast. How can it be that, in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to more...
The spider walk to the crease.
'Oh no, not him again,' sighed the grasshopper.' Is he good?' asked a beetle.
'It's not that,' said the grasshopper,' it's just that he stays in so long.
The only way to get him out is l. l. l. l. l. b. w.!
Two old cricketers were talking in the club.
'What was your highest score?'' A hundred and ten not out.'
'Mine was a hundred and twenty not out'.
'And what was the most number of wickets you took?'.
'Oh, no. This time you go first.'
What is a grasshopper?
An insect on a pogo stick!
What do you call a grasshopper with no legs?
A grasshover!
Why is it better to be a grasshopper than a cricket?
Because grasshoppers can play cricket but crickets can`t play grasshopper!
What is green and can jump a mile in a minute?
A grasshopper with hiccups!
What is green, sooty and whistles when it rubs its back legs together?
Chimney Cricket!