Grill Jokes / Recent Jokes

A couple had been married 10 years. One afternoon, they were working in the garden together. As the wife was bending over pulling weeds, the husband said, " Hey honey, you're getting fat. Your butt is huge. I'll bet it's as wide as the gas grill."
Feeling the need to prove his point, he got out a yard stick and measured the grill, then his wife's butt. " Yep," he said, " Just what I thought, just about the same size."
The wife became incensed and left him gardening alone. She went inside the house and didn't speak to him for the rest of the day.
When they retired to bed that evening, the husband cuddled up to his wife and said, " How about it, honey? How about a little lovemaking?"
The wife turned her back to him, giving him the cold shoulder. " What's the matter?" he asked.
She replied, " You don't think I'm going to fire up this big ass grill for one little weenie, do you? "

A guy and his friend go to a little coffee shop, and
the guy orders a hamburger. The guy behind the counter
spits in his hands and rubs them against each
other, grabs a chunk of ground beef from a dirty
bowl with flies flying around, and spits on the
grill. Then he puts the chunk of beef under his
armpit to make a patty and then throws the patty on
the grill.
The guy ordering the hamburger looks at his friend
and says, "God damn, that is gross." The friend
says, "That's nothing, you should see how he makes
the donuts."

A husband and his wife who have been married 20 years were doing some yard work. The man was working hard cleaning the BBQ grill while his wife was bending over, weeding flowers from the flower bed. So the man says to his wife "Your rear end is almost as wide as this grill!" She ignores the remark. Later that night while in bed, her husband starts to feel frisky. The wife calmly responds, "If you think I'm gonna fire up the grill for one little wiener, you are sadly mistaken."

A husband and wife who have been married 20 years were doing some yard work. The man was working hard cleaning the BBQ grill while his wife was bending over, weeding flowers from the flower bed.
The man says to his wife, "Your rear end is almost as wide as this grill." She ignored the remark.
A little later, the husband takes his measuring tape and measures the grill, then he goes over to his wife while she is bending over, measures her rear end and gasps, "Geez, your butt really IS as wide as the grill!" She ignores this remark as well.
Later that night while in bed, her husband starts to feel frisky. The wife calmly responds, "If you think I'm gonna fire up the grill for one little wiener, you are sadly mistaken."

A husband and his wife who have been married 20 years were doing some yard work. The man was working hard cleaning the BBQ grill while his wife was bending over, weeding flowers from the flower bed. So the man says to his wife "Your rear end is almost as wide as this grill" She ignores the remark.
A little later, the husband takes his measuring tape and measures the grill, then he goes over to his wife while she is bending over, measures her rear end and gasps, "Geez, it really IS as wide as the grill!" She ignores this remark as well.
Later that night while in bed, her husband starts to feel frisky. The wife calmly responds, "If you think I'm gonna fire up the grill for one little wiener, you are sadly mistaken."

A little old lady sits at the luncheonette counter and orders ahamburger. The huge guy behind the counter bellows, "ONE BURGER!"The cook, who's even bigger, screams, "BUR-GER!"Whereupon he grabs a huge hunk of chopped meat, stuffs it inhis bare armpit, pumps his arm a few times to squeeze it flat, and tosses it on the grill. The old lady says, "That's the most disgusting thing I've everseen!"The counterman says, "Yeah? You should be here in themorning when he makes the doughnuts!"and orders ahamburger. The huge guy behind the counter bellows, "ONE BURGER!"The cook, who's even bigger, screams, "BUR-GER!"Whereupon he grabs a huge hunk of chopped meat, stuffs it inhis bare armpit, pumps his arm a few times to squeeze it flat, and tosses it on the grill. The old lady says, "That's the most disgusting thing I've everseen!"The counterman says, "Yeah? You should be here in themorning when he makes the doughnuts!"

It's the only type of cooking a "real" man will do. When a man volunteers to do such cooking, the following chain of events is put into motion:


1. The woman goes to the store.
2. The woman fixes the salad, vegetables and dessert.
3. The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along
with the necessary cooking utensils, and takes it to the man, who is lounging beside the grill, drinking a beer.
4. The man places the meat on the grill.
5. The woman goes inside to set the table and check the vegetables.
6. The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning.
7. The man takes the meat off the grill and hands it to the woman.
8. The woman prepares the plates and brings them to the table.
9. After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.
10. The mans ask the woman how she enjoyed "her night off".


Upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that more...