Grow Jokes / Recent Jokes

Chuck Norris did in fact, build Rome in a day.
Along with his black belt, Chuck Norris often chooses to wear brown shoes. No one has DARED call him on it. Ever.
Anytime someone is elected president in the United States, they must ask permission from Chuck Norris to live in the White House. The reason for this is because Chuck Norris had won every Federal, State, and Local election since 1777. He just allows others to run the country in his place.
Once you go Norris, you are physically unable to go back.
Ninjas want to grow up to be just like Chuck Norris. But usually they grow up just to be killed by Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once sued Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper Jr, insisting that that actually is "his" way.
The last thing you hear before Chuck Norris gives you a roundhouse kick? No one knows because dead men tell no tales.
Chuck Norris doesn't play god. Playing is for children.
As a teen, Chuck Norris had more...

One morning a husband took a pair of underwear out of the drawer. "What the...?," he said to himself as a little blue dust cloud appeared when he shook them out.
"April!" he hollered into the bathroom, "Why did you put talcum powder in my underwear?"
She shot back, "It's not talcum powder. It's 'Miracle Grow'."

During a Biology class, the teacher asked the class, "Why is it that during childhood girls tend to grow taller than guys?"

A student replied, "That's because guys have balls and that weighs them down."

The teacher, a bit annoyed, responded, "Then why is it that at maturity guys tend to grow taller than girls?"

The student countered by saying, "That's because girls get breasts and they are heavier than the guy's balls."

There was this boy in high school that was what you wouldconsider a nerd. Anyway he had his own lab in the basementof his home and one night he came up and said "Dad lookwhat I made." So he poured a flask of fluid into a pot ofsoil and instantly grass started to grow. Of course his dad was really impressed with this and askedhis son if he can make something to make his penis grow. His son thought for a minute and said that if he did thendad would have to buy him a convertable. Dad agreed. The next night the son came out of the basement and gave hisdad a vial. The next morning his father came to him and toldhim that he had something to show him. They went to the frontyard and the boy saw a cherry red ferrari. The son looked at his dad and said "I only asked for a convertable." The dad replied "the convertable is in the garage. The Ferrari isfrom your mother."

1. A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.

2. All men hate to hear, "We need to talk about our relationship." These seven words strike fear in the heart of even General Schwartzkopf.

3. Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.

4. Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.

5. Most men hate to shop. That's why the men's department is usually on the first floor of a department store, two inches from the door.

6. Men forget everything; women remember everything. Think about it! How many women's sports use something called an "instant replay?"

7. Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super-heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.

8. No man is charming all of the time. Even Cary Grant is on record saying he wished he could be Cary more...

A husband, tired of his wife asking him how she looks, buys her a full length mirror. This does little to help, as now she just stands in front of the mirror, looking at herself, asking him how she looks.
One day, fresh out of the shower, she is yet again in front of the mirror, now complaining that her breasts are too small.
Uncharacteristically, the husband comes up with a suggestion. "If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper, and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds."
Willing to try anything, the wife fetches a piece of toilet paper, and stands in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts. "How long will this take?" she asks.
"They'll grow larger over a period of years," he replies. The wife stops. "Why do you think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts grow over the years?"
The husband shrugs. "Why not, it worked for more...

A husband, tired of his wife asking him how she looks, buys her a full length mirror. This does little to help, as now she just stands in front of the mirror, looking at herself, asking him how she looks.One day, fresh out of the shower, she is yet again in front of the mirror, now complaining that her breasts are too small.Uncharacteristically, the husband comes up with a suggestion. "If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper, and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds."Willing to try anything, the wife fetches a piece of toilet paper, and stands in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts. "How long will this take?" she asks."They'll grow larger over a period of years," he replies. The wife stops. "Why do you think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts grow over the years?"The husband shrugs. "Why not, it worked for your butt, didn't more...