Guitarist Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: How do you get a heavy metal guitarist to stop playing guitar? A: Put sheet music in front of him.

There`s a five pound note on the floor. Of a thrash guitarist, a drummer who keeps good time, and a drummer who keeps bad time, who picks it up?

The drummer who keeps bad time. The other drummer doesn`t exist, and the thrash guitarist doesn`t care about notes anyway.

Q: How do you make him stop playing?
A: Put notes on it!

Q: What did the guitar say to the guitarist?
A: Pick on someone your own size!

Q: What`s the definition of a minor second?
A: Two lead guitarists playing in unison.

Q: What do you call two guitarists playing in unison?
A: Counterpoint.

Q: How do you get a guitar player to play softer?
A: Give him a sheet of music.

Q: How many guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Twenty. One to change the bulb and nineteen to say, "Not bad, but I could`ve done better".

Q: What does a guitarist say when he gets to his gig?
A: Would you like fries with that?

Q: What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?
A: Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

Q: What is the difference between a guitar and a tuna fish?
A: You can tune a guitar but you can`t tuna fish.

Chris Llewellyn, guitarist for Asher, tackled and restrained a man on an airplane flight for making a bomb threat and trying to open the plane's door. The man insisted he was only trying to get away from a bomb, the in-flight movie, "Bride Wars".

How does a lead guitarist change a lightbulb?
He holds it up and the world revolves around him.

Q: How do you make him stop playing? A: Put notes on it! Q: What did the guitar say to the guitarist? A: Pick on someone your own size! Q: What's the definition of a minor second? A: Two lead guitarists playing in unison.Q: What do you call two guitarists playing in unison? A: Counterpoint.Q: How do you get a guitar player to play softer? A: Give him a sheet of music.Q: How many guitarists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Twenty. One to change the bulb and nineteen to say, "Not bad, but I could've done better".Q: What does a guitarist say when he gets to his gig? A: Would you like fries with that? Q: What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond? A: Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money! Q: What is the difference between a guitar and a tuna fish? A: You can tune a guitar but you can't tuna fish.

Q: How many lead guitarists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One. The guitarist holds the bulb and the world revolves around him!