Amp Jokes

Once Santa & Banta were travelling along with their friends Monty & Jaggi. On a road surrounded by forests on both sides, their car was attacked by robbers. Santa & his friends were pulled out of the car. The robbers blasted the car and took Santa, Banta and their friends in the middle of the forest where their boss was residing.
Now, this boss was fond of jokes. So, he put the condition that whoever tells a joke that makes every single person laugh should be left unharmed and alive, but if one single person doesn`t laugh then the joke-teller would be shot to death.
Banta started telling the funniest joke he had ever heard, "One day........." and when he was finished, everybody were falling with laughter except Santa. So according to the vow, the boss shot poor Banta.
Now, it was the turn of Monty. He also told the best joke he had ever heard. Again everybody laughed including the boss & his robbers, but still Santa was quite as a statue. So more...

1. It becomes more important to find a place on stage for your fan than for your amp.
2. Your gig clothes make you look like George Burns out for a round of golf.
3. All your fans leave by 9: 30 p. m.
4. All you want from groupies is a foot massage and back rub.
5. You love taking the elevator because you can sing along with most of your play list.
6. Instead of a fifth member, your band wants to spring for a roadie.
7. You don't know (or care) who any of the new bands are.
8. You need your glasses to see the amp settings.
9. You've thrown out your back jumping off the stage.
10. You feel like hell before the gig even starts.

Queen Elizabeth, Bush & Musharraf died & went straight to hell.
Queen Elizabeth said "I miss England, I want to call England and see how everybody is doing there.
She called and talked for about 5 minutes,
then she asked "Well, devil how much do I owe you????
The devil says "Five million dollars"
She wrote him a cheque and went to sit back on her chair.

Bush was soo jealous, he starts screaming,
"My turn! I wanna call the United States, I want to see how everybody is doing there too"
He called and talked for about 2 minutes,
then he asked "Well, devil how much do I owe you????
The devil says "Ten million dollars"
With a smug look on his face, he made a cheque and went to sit back on his chair.

Musharraf was even more jealous & starts screaming, "I want to call Pakistan too,
I wanna talk to the ministers, to the deputy, I wanna talk to everybody of more...

The Story....
A guy lost his girlfriend in a train accident....

but the gal `s name nowhere appeared in the dead list. This guy

grew up n became IT technical architect in his late 20? s, achievement in
itself!!.

He hired developers from the whole globe and plan to make a

software where he could search for his gf through the web..

Things went as planned...

n he found her, after losing millions of dollars and 3 long years!!

It was time to shut down the search operation, when the CEO of Google had a
word with this guy n took over this application,
This Software made a whopping 1 billion dollars profit in its first year,
which we today know as ORKUT.
The guy `s name is ORKUT BUYUKKOTEN. Yes its named after him only. Today he is paid a hefty sum by Google for the things we do like scrapping. He is expected to b the richest person by 2009.
ORKUT BUYUKKOTEN today has 13 assistants more...

What to say to a telemarketer! One of the things that has always bugged me (and I`m sure it has most of you, too) is to sit down to dinner only to be interrupted by a phone call from a telemarketer. I decided, on one such occasion, to try to be as irritating to them as they were to me. The call was from AT & T, and it went something like this:

Me: Hello
AT & T: Hello, this is AT & T....
Me: Is this AT & T?
AT & T: Yes, this is AT & T....
Me: This is AT & T?
AT & T: Yes. This is AT & T....
Me: Is this AT & T?
AT & T: YES! This is AT & T. May I speak to Mr. Salem please?
Me: May I ask who is calling?
AT & T: This is AT & T.
Me: OK, hold on.
At this point, I put the phone down for a solid 5 minutes thinking that, surely, this person would have hung up the phone. I ate my salad. Much to my surprise, when I picked up the receiver, she was still waiting.
Me: more...