Gujarati Jokes / Recent Jokes

Rupaben was sitting in the doctor's office when he came in and said, "Rupaben, this isn't a urine sample you brought in. It's apple juice."

"Oh my god" Rupaben said, "I've got to get to a phone."

"Why?" asked the doctor.

"I may have packed the other bottle in my Kanjibhai's lunchbox."

Kanjibhai was preparing wedding cards for their son at the printers. Kanjibhai was not very good at English so he asked the printer to help him. After the printer had presented Kanjibhai with a draft, Kanjibhai quickly pointed out that the " RSVP " was missing.

The printer was surprised by Kanjibhai's knowledge and asked him if Kanjibhai knew what it meant. Kanjibhai started to think and after much thought he replied: "Vait! I remember! I remember! RSVP!! It means "Remember, Send Vedding Present!"

Ramjibhai was downtown with his wife and four little children when he decided to take a Rickshaw home. Approaching a Rickshaw driver, he demanded, "How much will you charge to drive us to the Ghatkopar? "

"I figure Rupees 2/- apiece for you and your wife," said the driver.

"I'll take the four kids along for nothing."

Ramjibhai turned to his children and said, "Jump in kids, and have a nice ride home.

Your Ba and I will take the train."

The passengers were leaving the Air India plane after landing, and one smiling, satisfied Kanjibhai paused to congratulate the flight attendant.
"Stewardess," Kanjibhai said happily, "I want to compliment you and the crew and especially the captain for getting here right on time.
It's not often that an airline gets to where it's going exactly when they claim it will.
I'm going to call your Air India home office and let them know how pleased I am."
"Why, thank you, sir," the flight attendant answered,
"but I think you should know--this is yesterday's flight."

A young Gujju boy starts attending public school in a small town.
The teacher of the one-room school decides to use her position to try to influence the new student.
She asks the class, "Who was the greatest man that ever lived?"
A girl raises her hand and says,
"I think George Washington was the greatest man that ever lived because he is the Father of our country."
The teacher replies, "Well... that's a good answer, but that's not the answer I am looking for."
Another young student raises his hand and says,
"I think Abraham Lincoln was the greatest man that lived because he freed the slaves and helped end the civil war."
"Well, that's another good answer, but that is not the one I was looking for."
Then the Gujju boy raises his hand and says, "I think Jesus Christ was the greatest man that ever lived."
The teacher's mouth drops open in astonishment. "Yes!", she more...

A rich Arab was admitted to the Lilavati Hospital in Mumbai for a heart transplant. Prior to the surgery, the doctors needed to store his blood type in case need arose. As the Arab had a rare type of blood, it couldn't be found locally. So the call went out to a number of countries. Finally a Gujarati was located who had a similar type of blood. The Gujarati willingly donated his blood for the Arab.

After the surgery, the Arab sent the Gujarati in gratitude a new Toyota Prado, diamonds, Lapiz Lazuri jewellery and US$100, 000. A year later, the Arab had to undergo corrective surgery. His doctor telephoned the Gujarati, who was more than happy to donate blood again to the Arab.

After the corrective surgery, the Arab sent the Gujarati a Thank You card and a jar of Almond halwa sweets. The Gujarati was shocked to see that the second time the Arab did not reciprocate the Gujarati's kind gesture as he had anticipated.

He phoned the Arab and asked him why more...

Rupaben likes to sing, and whenever she begins, her husband Kanjibhai heads outside.

Hurt and a little dejected, Rupaben asked muna na Bapa, "Don't you like my singing?"
"Of course, Dear," muna na Bapa replied. "I just want to make sure the neighbors know I'm not beating you."