Gujarati Jokes / Recent Jokes

Ramjibhai was downtown with his wife and four little children when he decided to take a Rickshaw home.

Approaching a Rickshaw driver, he demanded, "How much will you charge to drive us to the Ghatkopar? "
"I figure Rupees 2/- apiece for you and your wife," said the driver. "I'll take the four kids along for nothing."

Ramjibhai turned to his children and said, "Jump in kids, and have a nice ride home. Your Ba and I will take the train."

Kanjibhai and Ramjibhai were getting ready for the company awards dinner for the best salesman. Kanjibhai was in the running to win an award that evening and wanted to make sure he looked his best when he claimed his prize. He felt his luck was with him and was sure to win.
He stood in front of the mirror to fix his tie but the mirror was crooked, so he reached over to straighten it out and it came crashing down on the floor.

"Oh no," said Kanjibhai. "Now I am going to have seven years bad luck."

"Nonsense," said Ramjibhai. My uncle once broke a mirror and he didn't have seven years bad luck."

"Really?" said Kanjibhai, feeling much better knowing that.

"Yeah really," said Ramjibhai. "He died that day."

A Gujarati bhai spent the night in his secretary's apartment. He woke up at three in the morning.

"My God!" he shouted, "My wife is going to kill me!" Unsure of how he would explain it, he ran to the nearest pay phone and called his wife.

"Muna ni ba ", he began, "Don't pay the ransom. I escaped!"

Kanjibhai is talking to the family doctor. "Doc, I think my wife Rupaben going deaf."

The doctor answers, "Well, here's something you can try on her to test her hearing. Stand some distance away from her and ask her a question.

If she doesn't answer, move a little closer and ask again. Keep repeating this until she answers. Then you'll be able to tell just how hard of hearing she really is."

Kanjibhai goes home and tries it out.

He walks in the door and says, "Muna ni Ba, what's for dinner?"

He doesn't hear an answer, so he moves closer to her.

"Eh are you listening, what's for dinner?" Still no answer.

He repeats this several times, until he's standing just a few feet away from her.

Finally, Rupaben answers, "For the eleventh time, I said we're having THEPLA!"

The passengers were leaving the Air India plane after landing, and one smiling, satisfied Kanjibhai paused to congratulate the flight attendant.
"Stewardess," Kanjibhai said happily, "I want to compliment you and the crew and especially the captain for getting here right on time. It's not often that an airline gets to where it's going exactly when they claim it will. I'm going to call your Air India home office and let them know how pleased I am."

"Why, thank you, sir," the flight attendant answered, "but I think you should know--this is yesterday's flight."

For all Gujju children, understand your Parents When they say: They mean:
Pasadi........................... Prashad
Sufuria......................... Saucepan
Sano.............................. Snow
Tikert........................... Ticket
Egg-joss........................ Exhaust
Fota............................... Photos
Lipti.............................. Lipstick
Phast............................. Fast
Pholowur..................... Flower
Gilas.............................. Glass
Palty.............................. Party
Gorment....................... Goverment
Peeja.............................. Pizza
Peejot............................ Peugeot
Fhanta........................... Fanta
Punch............................ Sponge
Booth............................. Car Boot
Kittli.............................. Kettle
Boota.............................. more...

For all Gujju children, understand your Parents When they say: They mean:
Isschool............................ School
Juniversity....................... University
Istawbury......................... Strawberry
Isscooter........................... Scooter
Isgrew Driver.................. Screwdriver
Kale.................... Tommorrow and Yesterday
Beetish.............................. British
Bilu................................... Blue
Phen.................................. Fan
Amrica.............................. America
Viza................................... Visa
Philam.............................. Film
Borras............................... Brush
Gero.................................. Zero
Apormant......................... Appointment
Hispotal............................ Hospital
Revind.............................. Reverse
Music Down Cur............ Turn Down the Music