Gujarati Jokes / Recent Jokes

A Gujarati bhai spent the night in his secretary's apartment.
He woke up at three in the morning.
"My God!" he shouted, "My wife is going to kill me!"
Unsure of how he would explain it, he ran to the nearest pay phone and called his wife.
"Muna ni ba ", he began, "Don't pay the ransom. I escaped!"

A Gujju woman took her baby to a doctor, who determined right away that the baby had an earache.
He wrote a prescription for ear drops. In the directions he wrote,
"Put two drops in right ear every four hours" and he abbreviated "right" as an R with a circle around it.
Several days passed, and the woman returned with her baby, complaining that the baby still had an earache, and his little behind was getting really greasy with all those drops of oil.
The doctor looked at the bottle of ear drops and sure enough,
the pharmacist, had typed the following instructions on the label:
"Put two drops in R ear every four hours.

Mister Nene, his wife and his son were returning by train to home in Maharastra after taking a trip of South India.
Mister Nene was occupying the lower berth, his wife had the middle berth and his son the top most berth in the train.
When the train stopped at one of the stations on the way, the son requested his father to buy him a cup of ice cream to which he readily agreed and got off the train.
When they returned, they found that a Gujju bhai who couldn't understand Hindi or Marathi had occupied his son's berth.
Outraged, Mister Nene called the TT and asked him to help.
TT was a South Indian who stated that he could not understand Hindi, Marathi or Gujarati so it would be better if Mister Nene explained the whole situation to him in English.
So Mr. Nene explained, "That man sleeping on top of my wife is not giving birth to my child."

An (Bahraini) Arab was admitted in the Lilavati Hospital at Mumbai for a heart transplant, but prior to the surgery the doctors needed to store his blood in case need arises.
As the gentleman had a rare type of blood, it couldn’t be found locally. So the call went out to a number of countries. Finally a Gujarati was located who had a similar type of blood.
The Gujarati willingly donated his blood for the Arab. After the surgery, the Arab sent the Gujarati as appreciation for giving his blood, a new Hummer, diamonds, lapiz lazuri jewellery, and a million US dollars.
Once again the Arab had to go through a corrective surgery. His doctor telephoned the Gujarati who was more than happy to donate his blood again.
After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Gujarati a thank you card and a jar of Almond halwa sweets. The Gujarati was shocked to see that the Arab this time did not reciprocate the Gujarati’s kind gesture as he had anticipated.
He phoned the Arab more...

A Gujarati decides to study English. He learns an essay' FRIEND', but in the exam an essay on' FATHER' comes.
He replaced friend with father in the essay. It read:
I am a very fatherly person, I have many fathers. Some of my fathers are male and some are female. I have a new neighbor, I wish to make him my new father.

Two Sweet Gujaratis, both student of I. I. T, Kanpur, were talking about the American Astronauts.
First Gujarati: What's big in going to the moon, anybody can go there. We are Gujaratis. We will go direct to the sun.
Second Gujrati: But sun is too hot, it will melt us.
First Gujarati: So what, we will go at night.

Kanjibhai the jeweller called the police station to report a robbery. "You'll never believe what happened, Officer. A truck backed up to my store, the doors opened and an elephant came out. He broke my plate glass window, stuck his trunk in, sucked up all the jewellery and climbed back into the truck.
The doors closed and the truck pulled away."

The Pandu hawaldar said, "Could you tell me, for identification purposes, whether it was an Indian elephant or an African elephant?"

"What's the difference?" asked Kanjibhai Jaweri.

"Well," said the Hawaldar, "an African elephant has great big ears and an Indian elephant has little ears."

"Come to think of it, I couldn't see his ears," said Kanjibhai "He had a stocking over his head."