Gujarati Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: - Why did the Gujju think the film Gandhi was about a woman?
A: - Because Be(h)n Kingsley was in it.

Q: - Why won't the gujju jeweller sell anything to the UP ka bhayiya?
A: - The bhayiya kept giving gujju a bunch of hair each time the gujju asked for' Kesh'

Q: - What did the Gujju mean when he said, "Ramesh no dikro States ma gayon"?
A: - Ramesh's son failed in statistics...

Q) Why did Bill Clinton have the gujju beaten?
A) The gujju told Clinton "You are an IMPOTENT man"

Q) What will a Gujju tell a tomato, coming last in a tomato race?
A) Tomato KETCHUP.

Q) Why did the gujju go to Rome?
A) He wanted to listen to POPE music.

Q) Why did the gujju go to London?
A) To see BIG BEHN.

Q) Why was the gujju stacking up 1 cent coins on the day before exams?
A) He wanted to get "cent-per-cent".

Q) What did the Gujju have in the more...

Kanjibhai is talking to the family doctor.
"Doc, I think my wife Rupaben going deaf."
The doctor answers, "Well, here's something you can try on her to test her hearing. Stand some distance away from her and ask her a question.
If she doesn't answer, move a little closer and ask again.
Keep repeating this until she answers.
Then you'll be able to tell just how hard of hearing she really is."
Kanjibhai goes home and tries it out. He walks in the door and says,
"Muna ni Ba, what's for dinner?"
He doesn't hear an answer, so he moves closer to her.
"Eh are you listening, what's for dinner?"
Still no answer.
He repeats this several times, until he's standing just a few feet away from her.
Finally, Rupaben answers,
"For the eleventh time, I said we're having THEPLA!"

Once there was a little boy called Rohit who lived in the country.
They had to use an outhouse, and Rohit hated it because it was hot in the summer, cold in the winter and stank all the time.
The outhouse was sitting on the bank of a creek and the boy determined that one day he would push that outhouse into the river.
One day after a spring rain, the creek was swollen so Rohit decided today was the day to push the outhouse into the river.
So he got a large stick and started pushing.
Finally, the outhouse toppled into the river and floated away.
That night his dad Kanjibhai told him they were going to the woodshed after supper.
Knowing that meant a spanking, the little boy asked why.
Kanjibhai replied, "someone pushed the outhouse into the river today. It was you, wasn't it, son?"
Rohit answered yes.
Then he thought a moment and said,
"Dad, I read in school today that Gandhiji chopped down a Pipal tree and didn't get more...

Kanjibhai was preparing wedding cards for their son at the printers.
Kanjibhai was not very good at English so he asked the printer to help him.
After the printer had presented Kanjibhai with a draft, Kanjibhai quickly pointed out that the " RSVP " was missing.
The printer was surprised by Kanjibhai's knowledge and asked him if Kanjibhai knew what it meant.
Kanjibhai started to think and after much thought he replied:
"Vait! I remember! I remember! RSVP!! It means "Remember, Send Vedding Present!"

Pasadi........................... Prashad
Sufuria......................... Saucepan
Sano.............................. Snow
Tikert........................... Ticket
Egg-joss........................ Exhaust
Fota............................... Photos
Lipti.............................. Lipstick
Phast............................. Fast
Pholowur..................... Flower
Gilas.............................. Glass
Palty.............................. Party
Gorment....................... Goverment
Peeja.............................. Pizza
Peejot............................ Peugeot
Fhanta........................... Fanta
Punch............................ Sponge
Booth............................. Car Boot
Kittli.............................. Kettle
Boota.............................. Boots(shoes)
Winda............................. Windows
Winbly............................ Wembley
Die more...

Ramjibhai was downtown with his wife and four little children when he decided to take a Rickshaw home.
Approaching a Rickshaw driver, he demanded, "How much will you charge to drive us to the Ghatkopar? "
"I figure Rupees 2/- apiece for you and your wife," said the driver.
"I'll take the four kids along for nothing."
Ramjibhai turned to his children and said, "Jump in kids, and have a nice ride home.
Your Ba and I will take the train."

There was once a Gujarati living in USA called Raju Patel, who was involved in a car accident.
At the hospital, when he awoke, he called for the nurse to tell him what had happened to him.
"I'm very sorry, sir, but you were involved in a very bad car crash."
"Car crash! My Porsche! Is my car all right?" he asked hysterically.
"Sir, your car was destroyed, but that is the least of your worries - you lost your left arm in the crash, and we were unable to save it," she said apologetically.
"I lost my arm? My Rolex! My Rolex!"
"Sir, please calm down. That is the least of your worries.
You are in a very critical condition, but all your family are here to see you."
He asked for his family to be called in.
As they gathered around the bed, he called for each of them by name. "Shilpa, are you here?"
"I am here husband, and I will never leave you."
"Dilip, are you more...