Gynecologist Jokes / Recent Jokes
One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the husband gently tapped his wife on the shoulder and started rubbing her arm. His wife turned overand said, "I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh." Her husband, rejected, turned over and tried to sleep. A few minutes later, he rolled back over and tapped his wife again. This time he whispered in her ear, "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?"
A man goes into the Job Center in Downtown Calgary, and sees a card advertising for a Gynecologist's Assistant. Interested, he goes to learn more.
"Can you give me some more details?" he asks the clerk.
The clerk pulls up the file and says, "The job entails getting the ladies ready for the gynecologist. You have to help the women out of their underwear, lay them down and carefully wash their private regions, then apply shaving foam and gently shave off the hair, then rub in soothing oils so that they're ready for the gynecologist's examination."
"There's an annual salary of $65,000, but you're going to have to go to Swift Current, Saskatchewan. That's about 550 kilometers from here."
"Good grief, is that where the job is?"
"No sir -- that's where the end of the lineup is right now.
The gynecologist thought it would be a good idea to expand his skills in the field of car maintenance and enrolled for a course to be trained as a mechanic. After completing the course, everyone had to take a practical exam.
When the exam results were posted, the other students were very upset to see that the gynecologist had scored 150% on the practical exam.
The examiner was called in to explain the outrageous mark.
"Well sir, I did not know what else I could have given him. This is the first time I have ever seen anyone do a complete engine overhaul through the exhaust."
A gynecologist was getting sick of his job and decided that he needed a career change. He'd always enjoyed tinkering with engines so thought he'd become a mechanic.
So he went along to mechanics school and the final test was to strip the engine completely and reassemble it - obviously back into perfect working order. So our gynecologist friend did the test and anxiously awaited the result.
The day he received the results he got quite a surprise, he got 150%! He quickly phoned the instructor and queried the mark.
The instructor said, "No no that's right. First I gave you 50% for stripping down the engine- a very thorough job. Next I gave you 50% for reassembling it - a fantastic job really, and then I gave you a 50% bonus for doing it all through the muffler.
A young lesbian goes to her gynecologist for her yearly pelvic
examination. She puts on the paper gown and awaits him to come into
the exam room. He instructs her to get up onto the table and place
her feet in the stirrups.
As he is examining her she hears him saying "mmmm... mmmhmmm". He
completes the examination, instructs her to dress and then meet him
in his office when she is done.
In his office she asks him if there was anything unusual that he
observed during the exam because she could not help but hear his
non-verbal comments.
"Oh, that" he says." I was just admiring you. You have the cleanest
vaginal area that I have ever seen in all my years of practice."
The young woman proudly smiled and replied, "Why thank you! I have a
woman come in twice a week and clean it!"
A beautiful, voluptuous woman went to a gynecologist.The doctor took one look at this woman and all hisprofessionalism went out the window. He immediately told her to undress. After she haddisrobed the doctor began to stroke her thigh. Doingso, he asked her, "Do you know what I'm doing?" "Yes," she replied, "you're checking for any abrasionsor dermatological abnormalities." "That is right," saidthe doctor. He then began to fondle her breasts. "Doyou know what I'm doing now?" he asked."Yes," the woman said, "you're checking for any lumps orbreast cancer." "Correct," replied the shady doctor.Finally, he mounted his patient and started having sexualintercourse with her. He asked, "Do you know what I'm doingnow?""Yes," she said. "You're getting herpes; which is why I camehere in the first place."
A gynecologist was getting sick of his job and decided that he needed a career change. He'd always enjoyed tinkering with engines so thought he'd become a mechanic. So he went along to mechanics school and the final test was to strip the engine completely and reassemble it back into perfect working order. So our gynecologist friend did the test and anxiously awaited his results. The day he received the results, he got quite a surprise - he got 150%. He quickly phoned the instructor and asked about the high mark. The instructor said, "No, that's right. First, I gave you 50% for stripping down the engine - a very thorough job. Next, I gave you 50% for reassembling it - a fantastic job really. And then I gave you a 50% bonus for doing it all through the tail pipe."
What kind of baby will habs have? "A habby baby.