Half-gallon Jokes

IF AIRLINES SOLD PAINT. . . Customer: Hi. How much is your paint? Clerk: Well, sir, that all depends on quite a lot of things. Customer: Can you give me a guess? Is there an average price? Clerk: Our lowest price is $12 a gallon, and we have 60 different prices up to $200 a gallon. Customer: What's the difference in the paint? Clerk: Oh, there isn't any difference; it's all the same paint. Customer: Well, then I'd like some of that $12 paint. Clerk: When do you intend to use the paint? Customer: I want to paint tomorrow. It's my day off. Clerk: Sir, the paint for tomorrow is the $200 paint. Customer: When would I have to paint to get the $12 paint? Clerk: You would have to start very late at night in about 3 weeks. But you will have to agree to start painting before Friday of that week and continue painting until at least Sunday. Customer: You've got to be *&%^#@* kidding! Clerk: I'll check and see if we have any paint available. Customer: You have shelves FULL of paint! I can see it! more...

A husband comes home with a half-gallon of ice cream and asks his wife if she wants some." How hard is it?" she asks." About as hard as my dick." he replies. "Ok, then pour me some!"

A husband comes home with a half-gallon of ice cream and asks his wife if she wants some."How hard is it?" she asks."About as hard as my dick." he replies. "Ok, then pour me some!"