Hall Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two old ladies were sitting on a park bench outside the local town hall where a flower show was in progress One leaned over and said, "Life is so boring, we never have any fun anymore. For $5.00, I'd take my clothes off and streak through that stupid flower show!" "You're on!" said the other old lady, holding up a $5.00 bill. As fast as she could, the first little old lady fumbled her way out of her clothes and, completely naked, streaked through the front door of the flower show. Waiting outside, her friend heard a huge commotion inside the hall, following by loud applause. The naked lady burst out through the door surrounded by a cheering crowd. "How did you do?" asked her waiting friend. "Great! I just won first prize as Best Dried Arrangement!"

Pete's at work when he realises he's forgotten to ask his wife, Alison, where he should pick her up after work.
He calls home, and after several seconds, Ali answers the phone.
Pete asks his question, and Ali shouts, "You got me out of the bath to ask me that? I dashed to the phone; I haven't even got a towel over me, I'm dripping water in the hall! Pick me up in the square at 5.30!"
As soon as Ali tells him she's naked and wet in the hall, an evil thought occurs to him. "I'm terribly sorry to have got you out of the bath; ok, see you at 5.30 then."
As he hangs up, he calls to his mate, Mark, and outlines his plan, and starts to dial his home number, then gives Mark the phone.
When Ali answers the phone, Mark says, "Hi, Ali, is Pete ho... Oh, look at you! and all wet, too!"
"Ahhhh...."

A Buddhist and a Hindu were once good friends on the earth. When they died, they both went to heaven. Since the Buddhist arrived first, he began to show the Hindu around. The Hindu was very impressed. He asked many questions. Soon they came to a large hall. The Buddhist ordered the Hindu to be very quiet as they tiptoed past it. "Why did you ask me to be quiet when we passed that hall just now?" soon enquired the Hindu.
"Well, it's because I did not want us to be seen," explained the Buddhist. "That hall belongs to the Christians. They think they are the only ones in heaven. So I felt it better not to disillusion them."

Grandma Jones from the valley had never experienced a sick day in her life, so she didn't take it kindly when a bad case of the mulligrubs sent her to the hospital for observation.
By the time a pair of husky interns got Grandma tucked into bed, she had managed to complain about everything: the temperature, the lights, the skimpy gown, the food and the mattress, especially, the mattress.
Suddenly, Grandma spotted a small plastic item with a button, attached to a cord. "What's that?" she demanded.
"If you need anything in the middle of the night, Grandma," said one of the interns, "just press that button."
"What does it do, ring a bell?" she asked.
"No, it turns on a light in the hall for the nurse on duty," the intern replied.
"A light in the hall?" responded Grandma. "Look, I'm the sick one around here. If the night nurse needs a light on in the hall, she can get up and switch it on herself."

A son asks his father, "What can you tell me about politics? I have to learn about it for school tomorrow." The father thought some and said, "OK, son, the best way I can describe politics is to use an analogy. Let`s say that I`m a capitalist because I`m the breadwinner. Your mother will be the government because she controls everything, our maid will be the working class because she works for us, you will be the people because you answer to us, and your baby brother will be the future. Does that help any?" The little boy said, "Well, Dad, I don`t know, but I`ll think about what you said."

Later that night, after everyone had gone to bed, the little boy was awaken by his baby brother`s crying. Upon further investigation, he found a dirty diaper. So, he went down the hall to his parent`s bedroom and found his father`s side of the bed empty and his mother wouldn`t wake up. Then he saw a light on in the guest room down the hall, and when he more...

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the ship
Not a circuit was buzzing, not one microchip;
The phasers were hung in the armoury securely,
In hope that no alien would get up that early.
The crewmen were nestled all snug in their bunks
(Except for the few who were partying drunks);
And Picard in his nightshirt, and Bev in her lace,
Had just settled down for a neat face to face...
When out in the hall there arose such a racket,
That we leapt from our beds, pulling on pant and jacket.
Away to the lifts we all shot like a gun,
Leapt into the cars and yelled loudly "Deck One!"
The bridge red-alert lights, which flashed through the din,
Gave a lustre of Hades to objects within.
When, what on the viewscreen, our eyes should behold,
But a weird kind of sleigh, and some guy who looked old.
But the glint in his eyes was so strange and askew,
That we knew in a moment it had to be more...

After Christmas break, a teacher asked her young pupils to write an essay about how they spent their holidays. One small boy wrote the following:We always used to spend Christmas with Grandpa and Grandma. They used to live here in a big brick home, but Grandpa got retarded and they moved to Florida. Now they live in a place with a lot of other retarded people. They all live in little tin boxes. They ride on three-wheeled tricycles and they all wear name tags, because they don't know who they are.They go to a big building called a wrecked hall, but if it was wrecked, they got it fixed because it is alright now. They play games and do exercises there, but they don't do them very good. There is a swimming pool there. They go in it and just stand there with their hats on. I guess they don't know how to swim.As you go into their park, there is a doll house with a little man sitting in it. He watches all day so they can't get out without him seeing them. When they can sneak out they go to more...