Hall Jokes / Recent Jokes

An old professor at a university was in the habit of starting each day's lecture with a vulgar joke. After one particularly egregious example, all the female studnts in the class held a meeting. They decided that the next time he spoke rudely would be the last, as they would leave the lecture hall, never to return.
The very next day, the professor walked into the hall, and began by asking,
"Have you heard about the shortage of whores in India?"
As one, en masse, the women in the hall rose, and began to file out.
At this point, the professor raised his hand, and cried out,
"Wait, ladies! The boat doesn't leave until tomorrow!"

The mayor of Phoenix was very worried about a plague of pigeons in Phoenix.

The mayor could not remove the pigeons from the city. All of Phoenix was full of pigeon poop. The people of Phoenix couldn't walk on the sidewalks or drive on the roads. It was costing a fortune to try to keep the streets and sidewalks clean.

One day a man came to City Hall and offered the Mayor proposition. "I can rid your beautiful city of its plague of pigeons without cost
to the city. But, you must promise not to ask me any questions. Or, you can pay me five million dollars and ask one question."

The mayor considered the offer briefly and accepted the free
proposition.

The next day the man climbed to the top of City Hall, opened his coat, and released a blue pigeon. The blue pigeon circled in the air and flew up into the bright blue Arizona sky. All the pigeons in Phoenix saw the blue pigeon. They gathered up behind the blue more...

An engineer, a physicist and a mathematician are staying in a hotel.The engineer wakes up and smells smoke. He goes out into the hallway and sees a fire, so he fills a trash can from his room with water and douses the fire. He goes back to bed.Later, the physicist wakes up and smells smoke. He opens his door and sees a fire in the hallway. He walks down the hall to a fire hose and after calculating the flame velocity, distance, water pressure, trajectory, etc. extinguishes the fire with the minimum amount of water and energy needed.Later, the mathematician wakes up and smells smoke. He goes to the hall, sees the fire and then the fire hose. He thinks for a moment and then exclaims, "Ah, a solution exists!" and then goes back to bed.

Poor little Kenneth wanted a toy he could his own, and, dashing off a letter to God, hi implored the Almighty to see His way clear send him twenty dollars to buy one. He mail* the letter, which a well-meaning postal forwarded to City Hall. There it came to tl attention of the mayor, who pulled out a five dollar bill, wrote a nice note, and sent it off to Kenneth.
When the envelope arrived, Kenneth opened it and grew red with rage. Taking pen in hand, he wrote back to God, "Lord, thanks for the twenty dollars. Only why'd you send it through City Hall? The bastards kept seventy-five percent for taxes!"

This guy walks into a whore house and goes up to the lady at
the front desk. "What can I get for a buck?" he says. She
looks at him and says,"Go to the last room at the end of the
hall and we'll have a girl waiting for you. So he heads on
down the hall and goes into the last room there is. Low and
behold sitting spread-eagle, naked on the bed is this
beautiful blonde just waiting. Without further ado, the guy
drops his pants and starts going to town. He's working her
over with everything he's got thinking of how good a bargain
it was, even though she was being kinda quiet.
He keeps going and then... he has one of the greatest orgasms
of his life but right as he finishes, white stuff starts
coming out of her nose, her mouth and her ears. Well the
guys freaks out and goes flying out of the room and back to
the front desk while putting his clothes back on. He starts
yelling until the lady comes up more...

Your stationery is more cluttered than Warren Beatty's address book. The
letterhead lists a fax number, e-mail addresses for two on-line services, and
your Internet address, which spreads across the breadth of the letterhead and
continues to the back. In essence, you have conceded that the first page of any
letter you write is letterhead.
You have never sat through an entire movie without having at least one
device on your body beep or buzz.
You need to fill out a form that must be typewritten, but you can't because
there isn't one typewriter in your house - only computers with laser printers.
You think of the gadgets in your office as "friends", but you forget to send
your father a birthday card.
You disdain people who use low baud rates.
When you go into a computer store, you eavesdrop on a salesperson talking
with customers - and you butt in to correct him and spend the next twenty
minutes answering the customers' more...

It is a little-known fact that the mother of famed game show host Monte Hall owns a company that provides exotic animals to zoos.
Equally little known is the fact that a few years ago singer Dinah Shore was working to establish a zoo in the little Iowa town of Tripoli in honor of her relatives from there. As a long-time friend of Monte, Dinah naturally bought many of the animals from his mother.
In fact, many truckloads of animals were shipped... from the zoo of Monte Hall's Ma to the Shores of Tripoli!
(By Gene Baumann in The Pundit)