Hallway Jokes

This doctor is considering specializing in sex disorders. He calls a local clinic and asks if he can get a tour of their facility. The Clinic Administrator tells the doctor that would be fine and to come right on over.
As they're walking through the hospital, the doctor sees this guy jerking off in the middle of the hallway. He asks the Administrator what's going on. The Administrator explains that the guy suffers from Hyper Spermatogenisis, that is, unless he gets off several times a day, his balls will explode!
A few minutes later they turn the corner and see a guy standing in the hallway getting a blow job from this beautiful nurse. The doctor inquires as to this guy's condition. The Administrator explains to the doctor that this man has the same problem as the other guy, but he as a much better health plan!

The CEO of a Vacuum Cleaner company was impatient with the poor job his salespeople were doing, so one day he decided to do the job himself.
He pulled up to an old house in his Mercedes Benz and knocked on the door. A little old barefoot man wearing overalls answered the knock on the door, only to be confronted by the very well dressed and dignified CEO in a $2,000 navy blue pin-striped business suit, a Hermes silk tie, a starched white shirt with monogrammed cufflinks, $700 shoes polished like black mirrors, and carrying a vacuum cleaner.
"Good morning," said the well-dressed and impeccably groomed CEO. "If I could take a couple minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners."
"Get lost, Mister fancy suit!" said the old man. "I haven't got any money" and he proceeded to close the door.
Quick as a flash, the CEO wedged his polished shoe in the door and pushed it wide more...

"Five Kinds of Sex"
The first is Smurf Sex.
This happens during the honeymoon; you both keep doing it until you're blue in the face.
The second is Kitchen Sex.
This is at the beginning of the marriage; you'll have sex anywhere, anytime. Hence, also in the kitchen.
The third kind is Bedroom Sex.
You've calmed down a bit, perhaps have kids, so you gotta do it in the bedroom.
The fourth kind is Hallway Sex.
This is where you pass each other in the hallway and say, "Fuck you!"
There is also a fifth kind of sex: Courtroom Sex.
This is when you get divorced and your wife fucks you in front of everyone in court.

John went to Dr. Smith because of intense migraine headaches. The doctor tried many things, but no relief. Finally, after many visits, the doc sat down and said, "You know, John, why don't you try something unusual. Why don't you do something that I always do when I have a headache like that. I phone my wife and tell her I'm coming home; she waits for me in the bedroom, with her blouse off, and I nestle my head between those two beautiful breasts and soon the headache disappears! You ought to try something like that--I don't know what else to do for you. It wouldn't hurt." "Well I might try something like that," said John. A month later, John is back in the clinic, seeing another doctor on another unrelated matter, and he and Dr. Smith pass each other in the hallway. "John!" says the doc, "Haven't seen you in a while! How's those headaches?" "Great! They're all gone! Thanks for your advice!" said John." Hey, that's more...

An engineer, a physicist and a mathematician are staying in a hotel.The engineer wakes up and smells smoke. He goes out into the hallway and sees a fire, so he fills a trash can from his room with water and douses the fire. He goes back to bed.Later, the physicist wakes up and smells smoke. He opens his door and sees a fire in the hallway. He walks down the hall to a fire hose and after calculating the flame velocity, distance, water pressure, trajectory, etc. extinguishes the fire with the minimum amount of water and energy needed.Later, the mathematician wakes up and smells smoke. He goes to the hall, sees the fire and then the fire hose. He thinks for a moment and then exclaims, "Ah, a solution exists!" and then goes back to bed.