Halo Jokes / Recent Jokes

Signs you've been playing HALO (for XBOX) too long.
-You call your friends by their character name instead of their real name.
-You can't remember your friends' real names.
-You believe that the Earth is one huge ring instead of a ball.
-You cansantly attempt to pistol-whip people.
-You begin to wonder where the needler and rocket launcher are on campus.
-You refer to your car as a warthog.
-You attempt to mount a gatling gun onto the back of your car.

1. You don't suffer from insomnia... you enjoy every minute of it.
2. Your pupils are dialated 24/7
3.*You don't have time for a girlfriend and would rather have a talking frog instead.
4. L337 is a common word in your household.
5. The targeting reticle from halo is permanently burned onto your retina... and you love it.
6. You know the correct pronunciation of MJOLNIR.
7. You have a microwave in your room.
8. Your dog can beat your friends at halo.
9. Your pug, 30 pounds over weight can physically kick your butt.
10. You've memorized the entire halo soundtrack.

An Italian man immigrates to America. He starts sweeping floors in a pizzeria, and after 15 years works his way up to owning a small chain of pizzerias.

He decides to have his own house designed and built for him. And it is going to have everything!

One day he is talking to the contractor and said, "Makea you sure you puta plenty da halo statues inna da house. I wanna hava lotsa da halo statues. One inna every room, even da bathroom."The contractor, realizing his client must be a very religious person, carefully plans a niche in every room, and personally searches for the perfect statue for each niche.

Finally, the house is finished. The Italian man walks through his new home for the first time. The contractor points out all the features, and finally the Italian man said, "But wherea are alluh my halo statues? I wanna lotsa halo statues!"

And the contractor points to the niches and said, "I put a statue in every more...

An Italian man immigrates to America. He starts sweeping floors in a pizzeria, and after 15 years works his way up to owning a small chain of pizzerias. He decides to have his own house designed and built for him. And it is going to have everything! One day he is talking to the contractor and said, "Makea you sure you puta plenty da halo statues inna da house. I wanna hava lotsa da halo statues. One inna every room, even da bathroom." The contractor, realizing his client must be a very religious person, carefully plans a niche in every room, and personally searches for the perfect statue for each niche. Finally, the house is finished. The Italian man walks through his new home for the first time. The contractor points out all the features, and finally the Italian man said, "But wherea are alluh my halo statues? I wanna lotsa halo statues!" And the contractor points to the niches and said, "I put a statue in every room, like you asked." The Italian more...

St. Peter meets Mother Theresa at the Gates Of Heaven and says, "You were a good woman. I'm giving you a nice halo." Mother Theresa is walking around Heaven when she sees Princess Di, and the Princess has a much bigger halo. Mother Theresa goes back to St. Peter and says, "St. Peter, I spent most of my adult life helping the poor and the sickly. Princess Di did no where near the amount of charitable work I did. Why does she have a bigger halo?" St. Peter says, "That's not a halo. That's a steering wheel."