Handsome Jokes / Recent Jokes
A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only." Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in.
The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. "We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what's inside."
So they start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: "All the men on this floor are short and plain." The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor.
The sign on the second floor reads: "All the men here are short and handsome." Still, this isn't good enough, so the friends continue on up.
They reach the third floor and the sign reads: "All the men here are tall and plain."
They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they more...
A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only."
Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in.
The doorman, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. "We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide, since each floor has a sign telling you what's inside."
So they start going up, and on the first floor the sign reads: "All the men on this floor are short and plain."
The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor. The sign on the second floor reads: "All the men here are short and handsome."
Still, this isn't good enough, so the friends continue on up. They reach the third floor and the sign reads: "All the men here are tall and plain."
They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they more...
-The nice men are ugly.
-The handsome men are not nice.
-The handsome and nice man are gay.
-The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married.
-The men who are not so handsome but are nice men have no money.
-The men who are not so handsome but are nice men with money think we are only after their money.
-The handsome men without money are after our money.
-The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexeual don't think we are beautiful enough.
-The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexuel, somewhat nice and have money are cowards.
-The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some money and thank God are heterosexuel are shy and never make the first move!!
-The men who never make the first move, automatically lose interest on us when we take the initiative.
NOW, WHO IN THE HELL UNDERSTANDS MEN??!!
An old lady sits on her front porch, rocking away the last days of her long life, when all of a sudden, a fairy godmother appears and informs her that she will be granted three wishes.
"Well, now," says the old lady, "I guess I would like to be really rich."
*** POOF *** Her rocking chair turns to solid gold.
"And, gee, I guess I wouldn't mind being a young, beautiful princess."
*** POOF *** She turns into a beautiful young woman.
"Your third wish?" asks the fairy godmother. Just then the old woman's cat wanders across the porch in front of them. "Ooh - can you change him into a handsome prince?" she asks.
*** POOF ***
There before her stands a young man more handsome than anyone could possibly imagine. She stares at him, smitten. With a smile that makes her knees weak, he saunters across the porch and whispers in her ear, "Bet you're sorry you had me neutered."
Questions concerning love and wisdom were posed to a group of children (ages 5 to 10). Their responses were amazingly astute and very enlightening, thus proving that all we need to know, we probably learned in kindergarten.
WHAT IS THE PROPER AGE TO GET MARRIED?
"Eighty-four. Because at that age, you don't have to work any more, and you can spend all your time loving each other." (Judy, 8)
"Once I'm done with kindergarten, I'm going to find me a wife." (Tommy, 5)
WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
"On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date." (Mike, 10)
WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
"You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to buy her a big ring and her own VCR, 'cause she'll want to have videos of the wedding." (Jim, 10)
"Never kiss in front of other people. It's a big embarrassing thing if anybody sees you. But more...
Gora-Boy was an unnaturally Gora Indian Boy. He wasn't very handsome, or good looking, or have a nice voice, but All the aunties loved him because Gora-Boy was so unbelievably Gora. His mother used to introduce him to all her friends proudly, and they used to remark on Gora's boys Gora-ness. She proudly used to say "he takes after me" and all the other aunties would smile and nod, and give Gora-Boy 10 pound notes in return for pulling tightly at his cheeks. One day, Gora-Boy was travelling on the train with his friends to Paris. Sitting behind him was White-Kid, who was called Richard. Richard had dark hair, and spoke in a funny way because his father was one quarter Indian. Gora-Boy sat opposite to some nice, Indian girls on the train, who naturally thought he was so handsome just because he was Gora, and for no other reason. He made them laugh because he could do really good impressions of Indian Uncles. He was especially funny when he would say Indian phrases with English more...
What Exactly Is Marriage?"Marriage is when you get to keep your girl and don't have to give her back to her parents" -Eric, six years old"When somebody's been dating for a while, the boy might propose to the girl. He says to her, 'I'll take you for a whole life, or at least until we have kids and get divorced, but you got to do one particular thing for me.' Then she says yes, but she's wondering what the thing is and whether it's naughty or not. She can't wait to find out." -Anita, nine years oldHow Does a Person Decide Whom to marry?"You flip a nickel, and heads means you stay with him and tails means you try the next one." -Kelly, nine years old"My mother says to look for a man who is kind....That's what I'll do....I'll find somebody who's kinda tall and handsome." -Carolyn, eight years oldConcerning the Proper Age to Get Married"Once I'm done with kindergarten, I'm going to find me a wife" -Bert, five years oldHow Did Your Mom and more...