Harold Jokes / Recent Jokes
Little Harold was practicing the violin in the living room while his father was trying to read in the den. The family dog was lying in the den, and as the screeching sounds of little Harold's violin reached his ears, he began to howl loudly.
The father listened to the dog and the violin as long as he could. Then he jumped up, slammed his paper to the floor and yelled above the noise, "For pity's sake, can't you play something the dog doesn't know?"
People eat muffins for breakfast, and for snacks. But not Harold. Harold was muffinless. He loved the tasty goodness of the top part and the more tasty goodness of the bottom part but still, he was muffinless. One day, Harold became ill and his doctor told him to stay in bed. On that day, it rained muffins. One day a neighbor came up to Harold and told him to have a muffin, but whether it was good, bad, poisoned, or delicious, we will never know, for that is the end of our story.
Teacher: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
John: You told me to do it without using tables.
__________________________________________
Teacher: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
Glen: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
_______________________________________
Teacher: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
Simon: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
______________________________
Teacher: Clyde, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
Clyde: No, teacher, it's the same dog.
___________________________________
Teacher: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Harold: A teacher
hollywood is to make a movie on the life of Dr.Harold Shipman, playing the part will be Robert De Niro, it is to be called "The old Dear Hunter"
Ethel was a bit of a demon in her wheelchair and loved to charge around the ward, taking corners on one wheel, and getting up to maximum speed on the long corridors. Because the poor woman was one sandwich short of a picnic, the other residents tolerated her, and some of the males actually
joined in.
One day, Ethel was speeding up one corridor when a door opened and Kooky Clarence stepped out with his arm outstretched. "STOP!" he shouted in a firm voice. "Have you got a license for that thing?"
Ethel fished around in her handbag and pulled out a Kit Kat wrapper, and held it up to him.
"OK," he said, and away Ethel sped down the hall. As she took the corner near the TV lounge on one wheel, Weird Harold popped out in front of her and shouted "STOP! Have you got proof of insurance?"
Ethel dug into her handbag, pulled out a drink coaster, and held it up to him.
Harold nodded, and said, more...
SHORT JOKES.... WHY TEACHERS GO CRAZY...
---------------------------------------------------
TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
GEORGE: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS: George
-------------------------------------------------------
TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WILLY: Me!
-------------------------------------------------------
SUBSTITUTE TEACHER: Are you chewing gum?
BILLY: No, I'm Billy Anderson.
-------------------------------------------------------
TEACHER: Didn't you promise to behave?
STUDENT: Yes, Sir.
TEACHER: And didn't I promise to punish you if you didn't?
STUDENT: Yes, Sir, but since I broke my promise, I don't expect you
to keep yours.
-------------------------------------------------------
TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so more...
Knock Knock
Who's there!
Harold!
Harold who?
Harold do you think I am! Knock Knock
Who's there!
Harold!
Harold who?
Harold are you!