Healthy Jokes / Recent Jokes

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his checkup, the doctor
called the wife into his office alone. He said, "Your husband is suffering from a
very severe disease, combined with horrible stress. If you don't do the following, your
husband will surely die." "Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Try to be
pleasant in general, and make sure he stays in a good mood. For lunch make him a
nutritious meal. For dinner prepare something nice and healthy again. Don't burden him
with chores, as he probably had a hard day. Don't discuss your problems with him, it will
only make his stress worse. And most importantly, make love with your husband several
times a week and satisfy his every whim. "If you can do this for the next 1 to 2
months, I think your husband will regain his health completely. On the way home, the
husband asked his wife, "What did the doctor say?" "You're going more...

On September 7th Anna Nicole gave birth to a healthy 6 pound, 9 ounce baby girl. On September 18th Anna announced the newborns engagement to 57 year old oil tycoon Jimmy Biggs. The pair have set a spring wedding.

Proud father
When his wife gave birth to a healthy baby, a proud father went in to work and told everybody that he has a 10Kg healthy son.
After hearing what was going on, the wife tells the father to quit telling everybody that the baby is 10Kg because he's only 4 Kg.
Next day at work, the father comes in and tells everyone that the baby is only 4 Kg.
"What do you mean, he was 10 yesterday?"
"Umm, well that was before he got circumcised".

Housewife (to beggar): You are a smart and healthy young man.
Why do you beg?
Housewife (to beggar): You are a smart and healthy young man.
Why do you beg?
Beggar: This is the only way I can talk to beautiful girls
without an introduction.

There are only 2 thing to worry about in life- either you are healthy, or you are sick. If you are healthy you have nothing to worry about, but if you are sick you have 2 things to worry about: either you'll get better, or you'll die. If you get better you have nothing to worry about, but if you die you have 2 things to worry about: either you will go to heaven, or you will go to hell. If you go to heaven you have nothing to worry about, BUT if you go to hell you'll be so damn busy shaking hands with your friends, you won't have time to worry!

At the urging of his doctor, Bill moved to Texas.
After settling in, he met a neighbor who was also an older man.
"Say, is this really a healthy place?"
"It sure is," the man replied.
"When I first arrived here I couldn't say one word. I had hardly any hair on my head. I didn't have the strength to walk across a room and I had to be lifted out of bed."
"That's wonderful!" said Bill. "How long have you been here?"
"I was born here."

How much Healthy Choice Ice Cream can I eat before its no longer a healthy choice?