Hearts Jokes / Recent Jokes

An old rabbi is talking with one of his friends and says with a warm smile, "I gladdened seven hearts today." "Seven hearts?" asks the friend. "How did you do that?" The rabbi strokes his beard and replies, "I performed three marriages." The friend looks at him quizically. "Seven?" he asks. "I could understand six, but..." "What do you think" says the rabbi, "that I do this for free?"

Senior citizens are constantly being criticized for every conceivable deficiency of the modern world, real or imaginary. We know we take responsibility for all we have done and do not blame others. BUT, upon reflection, we would like to point out that it was NOT the senior citizens who took:
The melody out of music,
The pride out of appearance,
The romance out of love,
The commitment out of marriage,
The responsibility out of parenthood,
The togetherness out of the family,
The learning out of education,
The service out of patriotism,
The religion out of school,
The Golden Rule from rulers,
The nativity scene out of cities,
The civility out of behavior,
The refinement out of language,
The dedication out of employment,
The prudence out of spending, or
The ambition out of achievement.
And we certainly are NOT the ones who eliminated patience and tolerance from personal relationships and interactions with more...

Q: Why are conductors hearts popular for transplants? A: Theyve had little use.

Least Loved Conversation Hearts
1. SHOO
2. U SMELL
3. AMSCRAY
4. CALL 911
5. 1000x NO
6. R-U NUTS
7. BIG BORE
8. BROKE HIP
9. URA ZERO
10. I'LL MACE
11. GET REAL
12. OVER DOSE
13. R U DONE
14. SHAVE BACK
15. NO HOPE
16. GO AWAY
17. DON'T TUCH
18. U-R SICK
19. WANT FRIES?
20. YODA MAN
21. DISCO
22. NO NECK
23. WRONG
24. IN-BRED
25. WAKE UP
26. HO HUM
27. FIX TEETH
28. TRY SOAP
29. NICE LISP
30. I'LL DUMP U
31. BAD HAIR
32. I'LL YELL
33. AS IF
34. NOT NOW
35. NOT EVER

An old rabbi is talking with one of his friends andsays with a warm smile, "I gladdened seven hearts today." "Seven hearts?" asks the friend. "How did you do that?" The rabbi strokes his beard and replies, "I performed three marriages." The friend looks at him quizically." Seven?" he asks. "I could understand six, but..." "What do you think" says the rabbi, "that I do this for free?"

An old rabbi is talking with one of his friends andsays with a warm smile, "I gladdened seven hearts today." "Seven hearts?" asks the friend. "How did you do that?" The rabbi strokes his beard and replies, "I performed three marriages." The friend looks at him quizically."Seven?" he asks. "I could understand six, but..." "What do you think" says the rabbi, "that I do this for free?"

Why are conductors' hearts coveted for transplants?
They've had so little use.