Heavens Jokes / Recent Jokes
A golfer was having a round of golf with the local vicar. The golfer took his birdie put, but then a gust of wind blew the ball just wide of the hole. The golfer, being very bad tempered, then exclaimed "Damn - missed the bugger!".
The vicar said to the man "Please do not use foul language again."
They moved onto the next hole and exactly the same thing happened - a gust of wind blew the ball just wide. Once again the golfer shouted "Damn - missed the bugger!"
This annoyed the vicar, so he turned to the man and said "Please do not use bad language again, or the heavens shall open and God will strike you down with a bolt of lightning!"
But once again, on the next hole a gust of wind blew the ball just wide, and the golfer screamed "Damn - missed the bugger!"
As soon as he said this the heavens opened and a lightning bolt shot down and struck the vicar.
Then God's voice boomed "Damn - missed the bugger!"
One day, after a near eternity in the Garden of Eden, Adam calls out to God, "Lord, I have a problem."
"What's the problem, Adam?", God replies.
"Lord, I know you created me and have provided for me and surrounded me with this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, but I'm just not happy"
"Why is that, Adam?", comes the reply from the heavens.
"Lord, I know you created this place for me, with all this lovely food and all of the beautiful animals, but I am lonely."
"Well Adam, in that case I have the perfect solution. I shall create a 'woman' for you."
"What's a 'woman', Lord?"
"This 'woman' will be the most intelligent, sensitive, caring, and beautiful creature I have ever created. She will be so intelligent that she can figure out what you want before you want it. She will be so sensitive and caring that she will know your every mood and how to make you happy. Her more...
A Maulana, a Sardarji and a Maharashtrian Brahmin happened to be in a boat which sprang a leak. The boat began to fill with water and it looked all the three would be drowned. The Maulana prayed to Allah for help: "Great and mighty Allah! Thou art compassionate and merciful. Save thy faithful servant from doom. I promise to say many extra namaazes and observe many extra rozas (fasts) if my life is saved." Lo and behold! A hand stretched down from the heavens and lifted the Maulana from the sinking boat and dropped him safely on land.
The Sardarji raised his hands to the heavens and cried "Merciful Wahgurul Save thy faithful gursikh and I promise to have a hundred akhand paaths." Lo and behold! another hand stretched down from the heavens and lifted the Sardarji from the sinking boat and dropped him unharmed on the land.
It was the turn of the Maharashtrian Brahmin. He too raised his hands to the heavens and prayed to his favourite deity "O thou more...