Heavens Jokes

...about the doctor, engineer, and programmer who were debating what the
world's oldest profession was (other than the obvious one)? The doctor
said that medicine was the oldest because the Lord performed surgery in
the removal of Adam's rib. The engineer countered that before that act,
the Lord had performed feats of engineering by creating the earth and
heavens from nothing.
The doctor conceded that the engineer was right and that engineering was
indeed the oldest profession. But then the programmer interjected that
programming was even older. He was chided by both the doctor and the
engineer saying that engineering had to be the oldest, because before the
Lord engineered the earth and heavens, there was nothing, only the Great
Void, only Chaos!
The programmer simply smiled and said:
"Where do you think the Chaos came from?"

A young boy and his doting grandmother were walking along the sea shore when a huge wave appeared out of nowhere, sweeping the child out to sea. The horrified woman fell to her knees, raised her eyes to the heavens and begged the Lord to return her beloved grandson. Lo, another wave reared up and deposited the stunned child on the sand before her. The grandmother looked the boy over carefully. He was fine. But still she stared up angrily toward the heavens. "When we came," she snapped indignantly, "he had a hat!"

In the beginning, God's alarm clock went off at 7: 00 a. m. God got out of bed, said, "I hate Mondays!" Then he created the heavens and the earth.
God said, "Let there be light!" and there was light, and God saw that it was good. And God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. And that was Tuesday.
And God said, "Let the waters under the heaven be gathered together unto one place, and let dry land appear," and it was so. And because he had some time before quitting time and he had to look busy, God added some grass and trees and stuff. That was Wednesday, and God was glad to be past Hump day.
On Thursday, God was already thinking about what he was going to do that weekend, so he didn't get much done, just some lights in the heavens to rule the seasons, and a few stars.
And God said, "Thank Me it's Friday!" He created great whales, and every living creature that moveth, which the waters brought forth more...

A young boy and his doting grandmother were walking along the sea shore when a huge wave appeared out of nowhere, sweeping the child out to sea. The horrified woman fell to her knees, raised her eyes to the heavens and begged the Lord to return her beloved grandson. And, lo, another wave reared up and deposited the stunned child on the sand before her.
The grandmother looked the boy over carefully. He was fine. But still she stared up angrily toward the heavens. "When we came," she snapped indignantly, "he had a hat!"

[Offensive to large bodies of water]
The old Jewish man was walking on the beach with his only grandson,
when a giant wave crashes onshore, sweeping the boy out to sea.
The man looks up to the heavens and says, "Oh Lord, this is my only
grandson, how can you take him away from me like this? My son will
not understand. My daughter-in-law will die from grief."
Another wave comes by, and deposits the boy at the old man's feet.
The grandfather looks to the heavens again and says, "He had a hat!"