Heavier Jokes / Recent Jokes

Bell Labs Proves Existence of Dark Suckers For years it has been believed that electric bulbs emitted light. However, recent information from Bell Labs has proven otherwise. Electricbulbs don't emit light, they suck dark. Thus they now call these bulbsdark suckers. The dark sucker theory, according to a Bell Labsspokesperson, proves the existence of dark, that dark has mass heavier thanthat of light, and that dark is faster than light. The basis of the dark sucker theory is that electric bulbs suck dark. Take for example, the dark suckers in the room where you are. There isless dark right next to them than there is elsewhere. The larger the darksucker, the greater its capacity to suck dark. Dark suckers in a parkinglot have a much greater capacity than the ones in this room. As with allthings, dark suckers don't last forever. Once they are full of dark, theycan no longer suck. This is proven by the black spot on a full darksucker. A candle is a primitive dark sucker. lA new candle has more...

Bell Labs Proves Existence of Dark Suckers For years it has been believed that electric bulbs emitted light.However, recent information from Bell Labs has proven otherwise. Electricbulbs don't emit light, they suck dark. Thus they now call these bulbsdark suckers. The dark sucker theory, according to a Bell Labsspokesperson, proves the existence of dark, that dark has mass heavier thanthat of light, and that dark is faster than light. The basis of the dark sucker theory is that electric bulbs suck dark.Take for example, the dark suckers in the room where you are. There isless dark right next to them than there is elsewhere. The larger the darksucker, the greater its capacity to suck dark. Dark suckers in a parkinglot have a much greater capacity than the ones in this room. As with allthings, dark suckers don't last forever. Once they are full of dark, theycan no longer suck. This is proven by the black spot on a full darksucker. A candle is a primitive dark sucker. lA new candle has a more...

Bell Labs Proves Existence of Dark Suckers
For years it has been believed that electric bulbs emitted light. However,
recent information from Bell Labs has proven otherwise. Electric bulbs don't
emit light, they suck dark. Thus they now call these bulbs dark suckers.
The dark sucker theory, according to a Bell Labs spokesperson, proves the
existence of dark, that dark has mass heavier than that of light, and that dark
is faster than light. The basis of the dark sucker theory is that electric bulbs
suck dark. Take for example the dark suckers in the room where you are. There is
less dark right next to them than there is elsewhere. The larger the dark
sucker, the greater its capacity to suck dark. Dark suckers in a parking lot
have a much greater capacity than the ones in this room. As with all things,
dark suckers don't last forever. Once they are full of dark, they can no longer
suck. This is proven by the black spot on a full dark more...

We all get heavier as we get older because there is a lot more information in our heads.

So you think you have troubles? When I got to the building, I found that the hurricane had knocked some bricks off the top. So I rigged up a beam with a pulley at the top of the building and hoisted up a couple of barrels full of bricks. When I had fixed the building, there were a lot of bricks left over. Then I weent to the bottom of the building and cast off the line. Unfortunately, the barrel of bricks was heavier than I was, and before I knew what was happening, the barrel started down, jerking me off the ground.

I decided to hang on and halfway up I met the barrel coming down and received a hard blow on the shoulder. I then continued to the top banging my head against the beam and getting my fingers jammed in the pulley. When the barrel hit the ground it burst its bottom, allowing all the bricks to spill out.

I was now heavier than the barrel and so started down again at high speed. Halfway down I met the barrel coming up and received more injuries to my more...