Heh Jokes / Recent Jokes

You Might Be Addicted to AOL if........ Tech Support calls "You" for help...... Someone at work tells you a joke and you say LOL..... You have called out someone's screen name while making love to your significant other...... You keep begging your friends to get an account so "we can hang out"..... you have to get a second phone line just so you can call Domino's..... you've ever typed "drinking on AOL is better than drinking alone"..... you have a vanity car tag with your screen name on it..... you no longer type with proper punctuation, capitalization, or complete sentences..... you begin to say heh heh heh instead of laughing..... when someone says "What did you say?" you reply "Scroll up!"..... you sneak away to the computer in the middle of the night when your spouse is asleep...... you know more about your AOL friends daily routines than you do your own family's...... you lie to others about your time on-line and when they more...

You Know It's Time To Turn Your Computer Off When... A friend calls and says, "How are you? Your phones have been busy for a year!" You forgot how to work the TV remote control. You see something funny and scream, "LOL, LOL." You meet the mailman at the curb and swear he said YOU'VE GOT MAIL. You sign off and your screen says you were on for 3 days and 45 minutes. You fall asleep, but instead of dreams you get IMs. You buy a laptop and a cell phone so you can have AOL in your car. Tech support calls YOU for help. You beg your friends to get an account so you can "hang out." You get a second phone line just to call out for pizza. You purchase a vanity car license plate with your screen name on it. You say "he he he he" or "heh heh heh" instead of laughing. You say "SCROLL UP" when someone asks what it was you said. You sneak away to your computer when everyone goes to sleep. You talk on the phone with the same person you are more...

A seventy-five year old guy, his hair is completely white, marries a twenty-two year old girl, and she gets pregnant.
Nine months later, he walks into the Maternity Ward. He says to the nurse, "Well, how'd I do?"
The nurse says, "She had twins."
He says, "Heh, heh, heh. .. well, I guess that goes to show, that even if there's snow on the roof, there can still be fire in the furnace."
She says, "Well, then you'd better change filters. Both of the babies are black."

Oh, yeah, what are you gonna do? Release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouth and when they bark, they shoot bees at you? ***** Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose. .. it's how drunk you get. ***** Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try. ***** It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day. ***** Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon? Lisa: No. Homer: Ham? Lisa: No! Homer: Pork chops? Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal! Homer: Heh heh heh... ooh... yeah... right, Lisa. A wonderful... magical animal. ***** Marge: Do you want your son to be Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, or a sleazy male stripper? Homer: Can't he be both, like the late Earl Warren? Marge: Earl Warren was never a stripper! Homer: Oh, now who's being naive? ***** Homer: But every time I more...

You Might Be Addicted to AOL if...
..... Tech Support calls "You" for help.
..... Someone at work tells you a joke and you say LOL
..... You have called out someone's screen name while making love to your significant other.
..... You keep begging your friends to get an account so "we can hang out"
..... you have to get a second phone line just so you can call Domino's
..... you've ever typed "drinking on AOL is better than drinking alone"
..... you have a vanity car tag with your screen name on it
..... you no longer type with proper punctuation, capitalization, or complete sentences
..... you begin to say heh heh heh instead of laughing
..... when someone says "What did you say?" you reply "Scroll up!"
..... you sneak away to the computer in the middle of the night when your spouse is asleep.
..... you know more about your AOL friends daily routines than you do your own more...