Helen Jokes / Recent Jokes
Did you know Helen Keller had a dollhouse in her backyard?
...Neither did she.
Joke Teller: "Hey did you read that article in the newspaper the other day about Helen Keller".
Person: "No".
Joke Teller: "Neither did she".
Iowa rep Steve King apologized for saying the 72 virgins waiting for deceased terrorist al-Zarqawi "probably all look like" White House Press Corps reporter Helen Thomas. Explained King, "Obviously Helen hasn't looked like a virgin for about 60 years."
A husband and his wife are spending a quiet evening watching TV. Suddenly, a loud knock sounds at the door.
Charlie says, "Sit still Helen, I'll see who it is."
He opens the door and is startled to see a huge masked man. He jumps back in surprise and says, "Are you a robber?"
"No, I'm a rapist!"
Charlie yells, "Helen, it's for y-o-o-u- u-u!"
Two nuns, Sister Marilyn and Sister Helen, are traveling through Europe in their car. They get to Transylvania and are stopped at a traffic light. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a tiny little Dracula jumps onto the hood of the car and hisses through the windshield.
"Quick, quick!" shouts Sister Marilyn. "What shall we do?"
"Turn the windshield wipers on. That will get rid of the abomination," says Sister Helen.
Sister Marilyn switches them on, knocking Dracula about, but he clings on and continues hissing at the nuns.
"What shall I do now?" she shouts.
"Switch on the windshield washer. I filled it up with Holy Water at the Vatican," says Sister Helen.
Sister Marilyn turns on the windshield washer. Dracula screams as the water burns his skin, but he clings on and continues hissing at the nuns.
"Now what?" shouts Sister Marilyn.
"Show him your cross," says Sister more...