Hero Jokes / Recent Jokes
1) A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to cleanse his wounds.
2) If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.
3) Nothing is too tight for Madhuri.
4) The hero cannot fall in love with the heroine (vice versa) unless they first perform a dance number in the rain.
5) Once applied, make-up is permanent, in rain or in any other situation.
6) Village girls who live among cows and sheep have perfect skin and teeth.
7) A large group of goondas can be shooting at the hero, but he will never be hit, unless of course he is attempting to save the chick.
8) A large group of goondas can be shooting at the hero with machine guns, yet they will always miss. Every shot the hero takes from his small revolver will knock down at least ten opponents in a line.
9) If you decide to start dancing in a field, everyone you bump into will know all the steps, and will be more...
Top ten reasons why the movie "Bombay" should be banned in Bombay:
10. The Hero and Heroine fall in love without first having a fight
9. The Hero doesn`t sing "mere pyaari behana" to his sister, neither
does she get raped nor does she get married off to some goon who ill
treats her.
8. The Hero actually asks the Heroine to elope with him instead of
confronting her father and finally winning him over.
7. The Hero`s bachelor friends at work do not get to come home and enjoy a
meal cooked by the newly wed bride, with one of them ogling at her
with evil intentions.
6. Since the Hero and Heroine get married very early in the movie, they
should have known that something was going to go wrong and should have
taken due care.
5. The movie is called "Bombay" but we don`t get to see even one overflowing
electric train. (It is like Ice station Zebra with no Zebras around)
4. Hero/Heroine do more...
A man lost in the dessert for 2 weeks, finally spots a small oasis and is able to just crawl up to it
before collapsing. The resident missionary finds him just in time, and slowly nurses him back to
health.
Fully recovered the grateful guy wants to get back to civilization and asks his benefector, "Could I
borrow your horse, and give it back later, or possibly leave it for you in the next town?
The missionary says, "Surely, you may, but there's one special thing about my horse. Instead of
' giddiup' you have to say `Thank God' to make him go... and you have to say' Amen' to make him stop.
He won't respond to `whoa.'"
Not paying all that much attention, our hero says, "Sure, OK," and he mounts the horse and starts off
with an initial "Thank God." The horse starts walking slowly when our impatient hero repeats, "Thank
God, thank God," and the horse starts trotting. Encouraged by this, the guy more...
1. If the number of heroes is not equal to the number of heroines, the excess heroes/heroines will
a) die
a) join the Red Cross and take off to Switzerland before the end of the movie.
1. Any court scene will have the dialogue "Objection milord". If it is said by the hero, or his lawyer, it will be sustained. Else, it will be overruled.
1. The hero's sister will usually marry the hero's best friend (i. e. the second hero). Else, she will be raped by the villain within the first 30 minutes, and commit suicide.
1. In a chase, the hero will always overtake the villain, even on a bullock-cart, or on foot.
1. When the hero fires at the villain(s), he will never
a) miss
a) run out of bullets.
When the villain fires at the hero, he will always miss (unless the hero is required to die).
1. Any fight sequence shall take place in the vicinity of a stack of
a) pots
a) barrels
a) glass bottles, more...
1) There would be 10 times as many people on the ship
2) There would be a song with Kate Winslet in a white saree and of course Singing in the rain
3) The movie would be called "Pyar Kiya To Marna Kya"
4) Hero and Heroine would float in cold water for days and still survive, But the villian would die in the first dip
5) The iceberg would be sent by the heroine`s father to teach the hero a Lesson
6) None of the women would float due to heavy designer sarees.
And last but not least
7) Half of the rescue boats would be reserve for SC/ST/OBC
Rules for making INDIAN Movies
1. If the number of heroes is not equal to the number of heroines, the excess heroes/heroines will
- die
- join the Red Cross and take off to Switzerland before the end of the movie.
2. If there are 2 heroes in a movie, they will fight each other savegely for at least 5 minutes (10 if they are brothers).
3. Any court scene will have the dialogue
"Objection milord". If it is said by the hero, or his lawyer, it will be sustained. Else, it will be overruled.
4. The hero's sister will usually marry the hero's best friend (i. e. the second hero). Else, she will be raped by the villain within the 1st 30 minutes, and commit suicide.
5. In a chase, the hero will always overtake the villain, even on a bullock-cart, or on foot.
6. When the hero fires at the villain(s), he will
never
- miss
- run out of bullets.
When the villain fires at the hero, he will always miss (unless the hero is more...