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The police are looking for a certain suspect who's sexy, funny, has a nice personality, and cool. Yo' ass is safe but where do I hide?

A brunette, a red-head and a blonde were in jail when they decided to break out. The girls broke out and the brunette said,

"Let's hide in that barn, they'll never find us."

So they climed up the ladder and then the blonde threw it down.

The next morning, the cops said, "Come out with your hands in the air!"

The red-head said, "Hide in those baskets, they'll never find us!"

So the Brunette got in the first one, the red-head got in the second one and the blonde got in the third one. Meanwhile, the cops were getting a ladder set up and trying to get up there. Once they got up, the seargent ordered them to kick the baskets.

So the cop kicked the first one: "RUFF."
"It's just a damn dog!" yelled the cop.
The cop kicked the next one: "MEOW."
"It's just a damn cat," yelled the cop.
The cop kicked the next basket and the blonde yelled, more...

Why don't violists play hide and seek? Because no one will look for them.

A small balding man stormed into a local bar one evening and demanded, "Gimme a double of the strongest whiskey you got! I'm so pissed off I can't even see straight!" The bartender, noticing that the little man is a bit the worse for wear, pours him a DOUBLE.

The man swilled down the drink and demanded, "Gimme another ONE!" The bartender pours the drink, but said, "Now, before I give you this, why don't you let off a little steam and tell me WHY you're so upset?"

So the man begins his tale: "Well, I am a salesman for this fancy goose pillows. I got an order and took several samples to an apartment in this neighbourhood. I knock on the door and this woman opens the door. Now, the lady can't make up her mind, so she asks me to take the samples to the bedroom and check them there. As I get into the bedroom I hear some keys jingling, and SOMEONE starts fumbling with the door."

"Well, the woman says,' Oh my god, more...

A blonde and her boyfriend were setting at home one night and became bored.
"Hey, let's play a game" she said."What game?" was his bored reply.
"Let's play hide'n'seek. I'll give you a blow-job if you can find me."
"What if I can't find you?"
"I'll be behind the piano."

* A "baby monitor." Makes those closed door meetings easier to hear.
* A pregnancy test kit with a positive result and an unsigned note saying: I told you that damn condom ripped.
* Put a piece of tape on the underside of his mouse. That way the ball doesn't roll and it will take the jerk and the IS department all day to figure it out.
* 32 beepers, all stashed in different places. (Borrow them from managers who are forced to wear them 24 hours a day.) Page a different beeper every 15 minutes. This works especially well if you also switch his morning decaf with espresso.
* First, simply hide pot seeds and watch as your clueless boss waters and nurtures the plants daily. Second, watch as escorted out of the building three months later by security.
* Thong, lace bra the morning after the company Christmas party.
* Nonchalantly drop lingerie and then kick it under the front of his desk (where he can't see it, but visitors can) early in the morning more...

Q: Why don't violists play hide and seek? A: Because no one will look for them.