Hiking Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two guys are hiking in the forest when they suddenly come across a big Grizzly bear! The one guy takes off his hiking boots and puts on some running shoes!
His friend says to him "You're crazy! There's no use, do you know how fast Grizzlies are, you'll never be able to out run it!" and the guy says, "I only have to out run you!"

On my last trip to Canada, I had the rare pleasure of meeting the leading historian of this great country. Out of curiosity I asked him how their county got it's name.
Below is his explanation...
There were three explorers, hiking through what is now known as Canada.
"You know," said the first explorer, "we should name this place we're hiking through."
"I agree," said the second explorer. "Great idea" quipped the third explorer. "We'll each pick a letter and then make a name out of that."
"Okay," said the third, "I'll go first. C, eh." The second said: "N, eh." The first... "D, eh." And now you know the story.

A truck driver was doing a cross country haul
and he hated [ethnics] with a passion. Every time
he saw an [ethnic] hitch hiking he would swerve
off the road and hit them.
This had gone on
for about 7 or 8 hours when he saw a pastor
hitch hiking. He had to pick him up but he
wondered what he would do about the blood, he
decided to not to make conversation of it and
picked up the pastor. Luckily enough the
pastor didn't seem to notice.
About 20 minutes
later the truck driver spotted another
hitch hiker and thought "Maybe if I act
like I'm falling asleep at the wheel I can
swerve off the road and hit him".
So he then
proceded to act like he was falling asleep
and swerve off the road. Two seconds later
he heard a loud thump and looked up excitedly
and said Did I get 'em!"
The pastor looked
up and said "No my son,
but I got him with the door."

A father arrived home after being on an extended business trip and found his son riding a brand-new mountain bike.
"Where did you get the money for that fancy bike, son?" he asked. "It must have cost a few hundred dollas."
"I earned it hiking, dad," the son replied.
"The truth, son, where did you get the money?" the father demanded.
"That is the truth," the son insisted. "Each night you were away, Mr. Jensen came over to see mom. He would give me $25 and tell me to take a hike!"

There's a guy who's hiking in the woods one day when a bear chases him up a really tall tree. The bear started to climb the tree, so the guy climbed up higher. Then, the bear climbed down and went away. So the guy starts to climb down the tree. Suddenly, the bear returns, and this time he's brought an even bigger bear with him. The two bears climb up the tree, the bigger bear going higher than the first. But the guy climbed even higher still, so the bears couldn't reach him. Eventually, the bears went away. Naturally quite relieved, the guy starts down the tree again. Suddenly, the two bears return. But this time the guy knew he was in big trouble. Each bear was carrying a BEAVER.

A man is driving down the road for a long period of time. During his travel, he sees a priest with a gas can hitch hiking, so he gladly picks him up he says,"Normally father, i dont pick up hitch hikers. You seem like a man of dignity so i thought id make an exception. In fact i hate hitch hikers. The priest nods his head and they drive on Along the way, The driver spots another man hitch hiking. "that dirty son of %$#%#% ill fix him". He then swirves the car and tries to make the hit and run like an accident. Dang! i missed. The priests yells,"Don't worry i got him with the gas can!"

There were these two guys named Shut up and Trouble. They were best friends. They did all the regular guys stuff like hiking, playing, basketball,...
Well one day they decided to go hiking in the woods. While they were hiking Trouble got lost. So Shutup ran to the nearest police station. When the police man asked shutup his name shut up replied"
shutup"
. WHen the policeman asked the same question shutup said "
shutup"
. After about what was an hour of this the very frustrated policeman asked sternly "
Are you looking for trouble and shutup replied "
ya"
.