Hill Jokes / Recent Jokes
What do you call a group of white people running down a hill?
Avalanche!
What do you call a group of black people running down a hill?
Mudslide!
What do you call a group of Latinos running down a hiil?
JAILBREAK!
How do you find the country of Mexico?
Roll a quarter down a hill.
How do you find the richest Mexican?
Find the one who got the quarter!
Are you Over the Hill?
You may be headed that way if. . .
At the breakfast table, you hear snap, crackle, pop and you're not eating cereal.
Your back goes out but you stay home.
You wake up looking like your driver's license photo.
It takes two tries to get up from the couch.
When your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.
When happy hour is a nap.
When you're on vacation and your energy runs out before your money does.
When you say something to your kids that your mother said to you and you always hated it.
When all you want for your birthday is to not be reminded of your age.
When you step off the curb and look down one more time to make sure the street is still there.
Your idea of weight lifting is standing up.
It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired.
Your memory is shorter and your complaining lasts more...
their this kid how cames in with no pants on the teacher asks him where were you and he on blueberry hill ok go get same pants on the second guy cames in with no pants on and the teacher asked him the same thing and he said i was on blueberry hill then they see this girl and the teacher asks her how are you am blueberry hill!!!
When I was introduced to a couple visiting our congregation, I decided to remember their names by noting they were the same as those of two characters in a popular children's story. After the services I stopped to talk to them, and as they were saying goodbye I teased, "Be careful going up that hill! But you must get that all the time." They smiled politely but said nothing. After they left, my husband asked, "What was that all about?" "Jack and Jill. Up the hill. Remember?" I said. "Yes, but what does that have to do with," he pointed to the couple, "Dick and Jane?"
We're over the hill but don't feel sad This side of the hill ain't all that bad. So give us "five" and then a smile To us who have been here for awhile. With by-pass pain and mended hip And plumbing fixtures prone to drip; We all may seem a sorry lot, But we rejoice for what we've got. We have each day and what it brings And on our pensions live like kings. For the press that accuses what we take To coin a phrase, "Let them eat cake." We've paid our share for unused knowledge As the kids are now all done with college. We complain to them about our health As they worry about our dwindling wealth. And though our wardrobes may be plain We'll suffer no more labor or pain. Now it's with cane we do our strut And if we can't drive - we still can putt. We're mean and tough, meet all demands, Why, M&M's melt in our hands. Yes, we're still here, and it does delight us That you join our fight against arthritis. But we ask you make a pledge today That you'll be careful what more...
There was a blonde who found herself sitting next to a Lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer just kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence. Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, and said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions, she owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers, he'd give her $50.00. The lawyer figured he could not lose, and the blonde reluctantly accepted. The lawyer first asked, "What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?" Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5. then the blonde asked, "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?" Well, the lawyer looked puzzled. He took several hours, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to find the answer. Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the blonde $50.00 The blonde put the $50 into her purse without comment, but the more...