Hippie Jokes / Recent Jokes

A hippie gets onto a bus and proceeds to sit next to a Nun in the front seat. The hippie looks over and asks the nun if she would have sex with him. The nun surprised by the question politely declines and gets off at the next stop. When the bus starts on its way the guy driving the bus says to the hippie, "If you want, I can tell you how you can get that nun to have sex with you." The hippie, of course, says that he'd love to know, so the bus driver tells him that every Tuesday evening at midnight the nun goes to the cemetery to pray to the Lord. "If you went dressed in robes and some glowing powder," said the bus driver "you could tell her you were GOD and command her to have sex with you."
Well the hippie decides to try this out. So that Tuesday he goes to the cemetery and waits for the nun. And right on schedule the the nun shows up. When she's in the middle of praying the hippie walks out from hiding, in robes and glowing with a mask of GOD. more...

There's 4 people on a plane and one is the smartest man in the world, one's a hippie, ones the president and one is britney spears. the plane is about to crash and there's only three parachutes so the president says, " I think i deserve a parachute, afterall, i am the president." So he takes the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Next britney spears says, " I think i should use the next parachute afterall, i am britney spears." so she jumped out of the plane. then there was only the hippie and the smartest man. They were debating who should use the next parachute and the hippie said, "i dont think we have to worry about anything like that, britney spears just jumped out with my backpack. and they jumped out of the plane.

This hippie walks into a bar, and thinks it's a restaurant. He walks up to the counter, and says to the barkeep, "I want a hot dog, not too hot, not too cold, but in the groove."So the barkeep walks into the back room, and tells this to the manager, who is in a bad mood. The manager says, "Well, give him whatever he wants, then get him out of here."The barkeep heads back into the main room, posing as a waiter. "Anything else," he questions. The hippie replies, "Yeah, I want a milkshake, not too thick, not too thin, but in the groove."Again, the barkeep relays this to his manager, who is getting more frusterated as the night goes on. He yells, "Fine, I already told you, give him what he wants and get him out of here!"So the barkeep returns to the hippie. "That was a hot dog and a milkshake, right?" "Yeah," the hippie says, "but scratch the hot dog. I want a hamburger, not to rare, not too well-done, but in the more...