Hiring Jokes

The CIA is hiring and is considering three men to be hired. They bring them in to speak with the interviewer separately. The first man comes in and sits down. The interviewer asks him: "Do you love your wife?" "Yes I do, sir." "Do you love your country?" "Yes I do, sir." "What do you love more, your wife or your country?" "My country, sir." "Okay. We brought in your wife. Take this gun and go into the next room and kill her." The man says to the interviewer, "I can't do that. I guess that disqualifies me doesn't it." The interviewer tells him yes but that the gun is filled with blanks. The agency would never ask you to do a thing like that. He is disappointed but hands the gun back, gets up and politely leaves. The second guy comes in and sits down. The interviewer asks him the same questions, and the responses are the same. The interviewer gives him the gun, and tells him to go kill his wife. The guy goes more...

An investment firm is hiring mathematicians. After the first round of interviews, three hopeful recent graduates - a pure mathematician, an applied mathematician, and a graduate in mathematical finance - are asked what starting salary they are expecting.
The pure mathematician: "Would $30, 000 be too much?"
The applied mathematician: "I think $60, 000 would be OK."
The math finance person: "What about $300, 000?"
The personnel officer is flabberghasted: "Do you know that we have a graduate in pure mathematics who is willing to do the same work for a tenth of what you are demanding!?"
"Well, I thought of $135, 000 for me, $135, 000 for you - and $30, 000 for the pure mathematician who will do the work."

The bank manager was in the final stages of hiring a cashierandwas down to two final applicants - one of which would get the job.The first one interviewed was from a small college in upstateNew York. A nice young man, but a bit timid.Then he called for the second man, "Jim Johnson!" Up stepped aburley young man who seemed quite sure of himself."He looks like he cantake care of any situation," thought the manager, and decided, there and then, to hire him. He turned to the firstapplicant and told him he could go and they would let him know.Turning to Johnson, he said, "Now Jim, I like the way you carryyourself - that's an important asset for the job as cashier.However, you must be precise. I noticed you did not fill out theplace on the application where we asked your formal education."Jim looked a little confused so the manager said,"Where did you get your financial education?""Oh," replied Jim - "Yale.""That's very more...

How do you go about hiring a horse? Try two pairs of stilts!

YOU KNOW WHEN THE POST OFFICE IS HIRING WHEN THE FLAG OUT FRONT IS AT HALF MAST. THE POSTAL WORKERS WANT HAZZARD PAY AND WORKERS COMP FOR SLIPPING ON SHELL CASINGS