Holy Jokes / Recent Jokes
TWO men in their 80s who had played golf every day of their long lives wondered if there was a golf course in paradise. After attending the morning service in church they approached the Vicar and sought his opinion.' I'll ask Saint Peter and let you know next Sunday,' replied the holy man.
The following Sunday the two men accosted the Vicar. T have good news and bad news for you,' said the holy man.
'The good news is that there is an excellent golf course in heaven.'
'And what is the bad news?'asked the two.
'The bad news is that you have to tee off the course next Saturday.'
What do you get when you cross Holy Water with castor oil? A religious movement!
There were two friends. One Hindu, Pawan and the other Muslim, Javed. They were heavy boozers. Not a day passed without their meeting, which resulted in ending up at a bar. Everyone was fed up with their drinking habit. Even they were keen to stop drinking. But the urge to drink always got the better of them.
Once they met in the morning. Being sober, they discuss their problem and came up with a solution. The Hindu says that it would be equal to eating the holy cow, and similarly the Muslim says that drinking whisky would be equal to eating a pig for him.
After their daily chores, their natural instinct made them meet outside the bar. They are happy to see each other, but they remind each other of their holy vow.
They couldn't stand outside for long and suggest that it is unholy for them to drink but they could always sit in the bar. Thus, they go inside and sat on their favourite table. They further decide, that they could always order a drink each and not drink it as it more...
Singing hymns and praying for peace and luck, thousands of Buddhists greeted a holy tooth believed to have belonged to Buddha when it arrived in Taiwan.
Monks in saffron robes escorted the tooth, encased in a miniature golden pagoda, off a flight from India. Dozens of women prostated themselves and spread their long hair over a red carpet. Others knelt in rows, clasping their hands in front to express their reverence. Buddhists say the tooth brings blessings for those who live where it is housed and keeps them from disaster.
DENTIST'S HYMN: " Crown Him with Many Crowns"
WEATHERMAN'S HYMN: " There Shall be Showers of Blessing"
CONTRACTOR'S HYMN: " The Church's One Foundation"
TAILOR'S HYMN: " Holy, Holy, Holy"
GOLFER'S HYMN: " There is a Green Hill Far Away"
POLITICIAN'S HYMN: " Standing on the Promises"
OPTOMETRIST'S HYMN: " Open Mine Eyes that I Might See"
I. R. S. HYMN: " All to Thee"
GOSSIP'S HYMN: " Pass It On"
ELECTRICIAN'S HYMN: " Send the Light"
SHOPPER'S HYMN: " Sweet By and By"